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Don't Know What to Do!

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 1:02 PM
  • 7 Replies

I am sure I've posted on here before about my (now) 21 month old son but things aren't getting any better. Only worse. I know he is a very strong-willed, independent child which is excellent, I encourage that, when it's something he can do on his own and not something that'll hurt him. And he's so full of personality, has been since the day he was born. Even though I am glad he is who he is and I love him I, as his parent, am having some problems coping with some of his behavior and I am at a loss on how to handle it.

Aleister has exerted his independence since he was 6-8 months old. I always would rock him and sing to him to put him down for naps and bed time. One day he stopped wanting me to do that. Which was good in he long run because I found out a few months later I was expecting our second child and hey he wanted to go to lay down by him self. It was just how he reacted. Everytime I would try to cradle him, he would loose it! I mean full out screaming, hitting, trying to get away from he anyway possible. When he acted like that, I admitt my feelings were hurt, he's my baby and I love him very much. Things have only gotten more difficult has he's gotten older.

Now, if he is has to do something he doesn't want to do or doesn't do something he wants to do, he throws the biggest fits. Whenever I take him to the doctor, he wants to run around the entire waiting room. I've tried taking his favorite toy(s), books, snacks but all he wants to do is run. If I try to make him sit by me, on my lap, or even stay within the particular area we're in he cries and gets upset. Then when we have to go to examination room to wait on the doctor he will try to escape (he figured out door knobs), if that fails he will proceed to throw himself on the floor, scream, kick his feet, and will sometimes even headbutt the floor. And when I say scream, I don't mean typically screaming, I'm talking high pitched, nails-on-a-chalkboard, someone is trying to kill me scream. This happens everytime we go to the doctor.

It's not just going to the doctor that triggers these fits though. It's if he can't go outside when it's raining, he can't have the big person cup because it's glass not plastic, if you tell him no (especially if you tell him no), if I'm doing something with his baby sister (like changing, feeding, ect.), bathtime, toothbrushing, meals, not letting him put something in his mouth, you name it. He's developed this fasination with putting his toys in full glasses and playing in it and he still wants to put everything in his mouth, when I tell him no on that and remove him from the area, you would have thought I told him Blue died.

I know some of his behavior is typical for his age group, throwing the plate when he's done eating (recently if he doesn't want what's offered), the headbutting, even the tantrums. What's concerning me is that they are getting so bad that he is almost making himself physically sick. He will scream and cry to the point he starts to gag and cough. I have been trying to spend time with him, my mom will take the baby and it'll just be me and him, but there are times he will ignore me and won't want to have me play with him. He will not even look at me and just play by himself. We've gotten to where the TV gets turned on if we can't calm him down, which I HATE because I didn't want him to even watch TV when he was first born because of how my younger brother has turned out. (MIL started this because he'd throw fits because he couldn't go outside when the snow was melting but I take just as much blame for not putting my foot down)

I know this is pretty long but I am just concerned, I didn't know if I needed to take him to the doctor. I don't know if all of this is typical behavior, heck I don't even know how I'm suppose to disipline some of his behavior (like the hitting). Like I said above, I know he is a strong willed little boy and I love him so much, but everything little thing from meal time to brushing his teeth is going to be the start of WW3. Is any of this normal, has anyone else out there dealt with this sort of behavior before? Can someone please help me? Please?

by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 1:02 PM
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Replies (1-7):
by Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry. I don't really have any advice for you. It sounds a lot like some of the behaviors I'm dealing with in my just turned four year old. I do try to distract & redirect him before he gets to the point of making himself sick. Sometimes it works & sometimes it doesn't. We have also started to count to five together & then take a deep breath & see if he can tell me what is wrong. (Everything that I have read says that it is just a phase & he will outgrow it.) Good luck!
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 5:24 PM
I would bring it up with the doctor and ask to get him evaluated.

Does he have language skills?

It may be sensory related too, get an OT evaluation as well
by on Jun. 30, 2014 at 5:56 PM

He knows some words and he uses jargen a lot. It's very hard to understand some of his words though.  I figured that was just normal for beginning to talk. I know he is a little behind the average 21 month old with his language but he is more advanced with his motor skills

Quoting collinsmommy0: I would bring it up with the doctor and ask to get him evaluated. Does he have language skills? It may be sensory related too, get an OT evaluation as well

by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 2:52 AM

I would get him tested for autism.  Speaking from experience, its better to have a definitive answer than to just brush it off as normal strong-willed toddler behavior.  My daughter was a little spitfire since birth and she is also high-functioning autistic.

by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 3:09 AM
How is his diet? Mostly fruits, vegetables, grains? Lots of protein, less carbs. Maybe he has a food intolerance that affects behavior. Take something g out of his diet. (Wheat & dairy are big triggers.) see if that helps. Good luck!
by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 3:26 AM
My three year old is the same way. I am having her checked for autism. But sometimes I think she just is to smart and knows how to press my buttons. Try time outs. Even if u have to hold them down and talk to them about their behavior. She keeps me running all the time but it seems to get a little better with age.
by on Jul. 1, 2014 at 3:31 AM

Good job Moms all of those were great tips

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