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Public meltdowns

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:06 PM
  • 5 Replies
I would like to know how you ladies handle meltdowns from the little ones in public. I don't have any children myself yet but my (freshly) moved in bf has a. 4 yr old boy. I haven't experienced a melt down yet but I'd like to have a plan. My bf says he doesn't like the ideal to take him outside because that gives the child the ideal that he /she can dictate what we do. Ideals ladies?
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 3:06 PM
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by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 6:44 PM
I bring my kids with me wherever I go (no babysitter or anyone to watch them) and often do kid-based activities (this week we've done a science museum, 2 park days, a pool play date, and then one day of errands at the mall). It's good for kids to go out and about.

Discuss with the 4 year old the expectations before you go and remind him while you are out ('we stay with an adult, have a calm body, and have safe hands' etc). At stores, my 3 year old rides on the back of the cart. He can get off if he says 'stop please, I want to get off', I always plan on some time for him to see something at the store, and some stores he can pick something out - usually a $1 item if he is good.

If my son asks for a toy and I don't want to buy it, I remind him he has money he has earned (& it's often not enough). Right now he earns 25 cents for helping empty the dishwasher. I keep track on an app on my phone, and he has 75 cents now. So I remind him he can keep earning money then he can choose to come back to buy said item.

Bring snacks to distract, too!

And if there is a huge tantrum (I've only had whining, and some crying, which we just keep shopping and talking about choices he has, and distracting him by talking about other things), then we leave.

We've had to leave the pool before due to a tantrum - I packed the stuff up, put the baby in the carrier, and carried my 3 year old home. He was very mad, and threw his crocs out the window on the way home.
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 8:33 PM
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 If you're out shopping and running errands that you need to do, then your bf is correct, don't let the 4 year old's behavior dictate when you leave. They learn very quickly what they have to do to get their way. If we're running errands, then I try to have a job for DS (who's almost 4)--either putting things in the cart, finding a specific item, putting things on the check out counter. I also bring my iPhone and allow him to play games some days too. His behavior EARNS things like a snack, a stroll through the toy department, a small toy etc. 

If we are someplace he wants to be (the jumpy place, pool, park etc) and he tantrums, we start with a warning and if he continues, then yes, we leave the activity that's for him.

Remember to set expectations and be consistent with carrying through with consequences.  Do not be embarrassed by a public tantrum. It happens to the best of us and anyone that has kids has either dealt with one or will deal with one.

by Silver Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 2:56 AM

distraction generally works for mine, bringing a drink and a snack, maybe a lovey.  I tend to ignore them and tell her to use her words if she expects for me to respond.

by Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 2:42 PM

I usually remind him before we leave what to do and what not to do. I usually either try and make him laugh or distract him. Both  work. 

by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2014 at 9:37 PM
With my 2 year old this is what I do

1. I try to rub his back ask him what's wrong. If it's not working I move on to the next step.

2. I count slowly to 10

3. I take 3 deep breaths

4. I say something like this: "oh my god! I can't find the colour green!! I've lost it! Can you help me find the colour green??"
"Oh there's green! Oh no I've lost the colour red! Can you help me find red?!"
"Yay you found red! What about blue?"

He's calm in about a minute :) snacks also help.
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