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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

punishment for 5 year old? Something besides time-out

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:43 PM
  • 7 Replies


  Let me start by saying I will not spank. My daughter has been throwing fits a LOT lately. Time-outs were working great. But now she simply refuses to sit in her room. Does anyone have any ideas? I've tried taking away electronics, tv time, specific toys.. I don't want to say shes outsmarting me, Im just exhausted. Any ideas?

by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:43 PM
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Replies (1-7):
RKL10
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 6:55 PM
Take everything away except a bed in her room and make a point system for her to earn certain things back. Such as you need 10 points to get a toy back 15 for another item or whichever. Not sure if it will work since I only have a two year old but heard another mom used this point system and thought it was smart
stenhouse_baby
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 7:01 PM

I really like the point system idea! Thank you!!

Retrokitty
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Natural and logical consequences, things that make sense to the crime.

Also focus on teaching her to do better rather than punishing her when she does wrong. For example teach her anger control techniques rather than punishing for anger.

Give her an alternative to her bad behaviour. "You can't jump on the couch, but we can go jump on the tramploeen outside" "we can't bang the walls, but you can go outside and bang pots and pans instead"
maureen813
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:01 PM
I really would like to come at this from a different perspective. Kids often communicate need and feelings through behavior so is it possible to figure out what is triggering the tantrums...sometimes it's tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and figure that out first.
Lcherniske
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree. My 6- yr- old has difficulty at times also . I have found it directly tied to being tired or overstimulated ( needs down time alone). Pay attention to when she struggles and work from there. For mine it's transitions- bedtime especially. I will use a chart of steps to get back into a routine. If mine isn't asleep by 8 ( we were doing 9-9:30) everything I ask becomes an issue. A great book is- " raising your spirited child" by Mary sheedy kurcinka. Try working " with " her- teach coping skills and reward for when she does it correctly. It can be hard I know. I am a behavioral therapist for children with special needs at work but honestly I understand with your own kids it's harder not to get emotionally involved and feel " what did I do wrong" or " I shouldn't have to make accommodations" etc. good luck.

Quoting maureen813: I really would like to come at this from a different perspective. Kids often communicate need and feelings through behavior so is it possible to figure out what is triggering the tantrums...sometimes it's tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and figure that out first.
maureen813
by on Jul. 18, 2014 at 11:06 AM
Quoting Lcherniske: I agree. My 6- yr- old has difficulty at times also . I have found it directly tied to being tired or overstimulated ( needs down time alone). Pay attention to when she struggles and work from there. For mine it's transitions- bedtime especially. I will use a chart of steps to get back into a routine. If mine isn't asleep by 8 ( we were doing 9-9:30) everything I ask becomes an issue. A great book is- " raising your spirited child" by Mary sheedy kurcinka. Try working " with " her- teach coping skills and reward for when she does it correctly. It can be hard I know. I am a behavioral therapist for children with special needs at work but honestly I understand with your own kids it's harder not to get emotionally involved and feel " what did I do wrong" or " I shouldn't have to make accommodations" etc. good luck.
Quoting maureen813: I really would like to come at this from a different perspective. Kids often communicate need and feelings through behavior so is it possible to figure out what is triggering the tantrums...sometimes it's tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and figure that out first.
I am also a clinical therapist working in schools and within a large outpatient community counseling center. I agree, healthy coping tools and strategies are very beneficial.
Scarpetta71
by Member on Jul. 18, 2014 at 11:30 AM

I wouldnt back down on the time out. If her room is where you want her to be then her room is where she should go. No mater how much she refuses. Ive had a bean bag by the front door door in the past that ive used.

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