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Almost 3 with bad anxiety

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 1:02 AM
  • 7 Replies
My DD will be 3 in three months. Since she's turned 2 she has developed a sort of anxiety to strangers that was completely new to us. We assumed it was that age and just let her use me as her comfort and shield. Also since she has turned 2 my sister moved here with her 2 yr old and our kids became the best of friends.. Unfortunately her DS is very bad and is also my DD's personal bully. He started pushing then throwing things at her then slamming her hands/fingers in the door when he saw the chance to by the end of the year he had punched her in the face giving her a black eye for 2 weeks. We stopped going over to my parents where they live all together.. Anyways since all of this my daughter refuses and will throw a full on tantrum if we are going into either mine or my parents house. Any adult no matter who strangers, nana, papa, grandma even aunts she will scream if they look or talk to her and she hides behind me. I've had enough and talked to her pediatrician about it which she then referred her to a therapist that specializes in young children and anxieties. The reason I brought up my nephew is because the Dr. thinks that's what triggered my daughters anxiety in the first place. Now DH and I go in just us to talk to my daughters new therapist for the first time and I want to cry... I feel like a failure as a mom even though I have always tried to protect her. my sister really needed me so I was there and in the end I messed up my kid.. She also sucks her thumb and picks at her face for comfort so now her face is all scarred up.. I'm at a loss and wanted to just put this out there.. Maybe someone else has a similar issue. Oh and in Sept. we put her in a montessori preschool 2 days a week, 3 hrs a day thinking it would help and she does amazing and is totally fine with her teachers...
by on Dec. 20, 2014 at 1:02 AM
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Replies (1-7):
BaltimoreBaby
by Member on Dec. 20, 2014 at 1:06 AM
Oh, I'm so sorry! I have a lot of anxiety, which manifests with hair pulling and such - I couldn't imagine seeing it in my own child, who is close in age to your child.

Good luck
NTPractitioner
by on Dec. 21, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Are you aware of or open to using flower essences? They are plant-based support that assists in balancing the emotions.  The whole family may benefit from taking them.  This is just one example of what may assist.  

collinsmommy0
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs. My son is 3.5 & was/is an anxious child. However, he's outgrowing some of his anxieties. If we are at a park or play date and a child is mean to him, he will refuse to play with them or go over their house. Or when we are there he stays close by. Which is understandable - if a child is hurting him, why would he want to play with them, KWIM?

I would set up some things with your family outside of the house but without the boy - like with your parents, something fun where she can be with you but can interact with them, such as bowling, mini golf, a trip to the zoo, etc - that helped my son get used to family friends & now he thinks they are awesome & constantly asks for play dates with them (even though they are adults!)
terra52590
by Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:41 PM
Never heard of it but I will look it up! Anything that will help will be nice

Quoting NTPractitioner:

Are you aware of or open to using flower essences? They are plant-based support that assists in balancing the emotions.  The whole family may benefit from taking them.  This is just one example of what may assist.  

terra52590
by Member on Dec. 21, 2014 at 6:49 PM
We ended up talking to a therapist and he said basicly the same thing. That she was most likely prone to anxiety but it's heightened by the bullying. We have put our foot down and told my family she can no longer see him.. It caused an uproar but it's to protect her because he said if untreated her adulthood will be worse and she could even possibly form an agoraphobia. He also said my nephew is in need to see a therapist himself from what we have told him and that if he doesn't get help he will just end up a delinquent. Apparently my nephew is only replicating a demestic violence situation he has seen in his life with my daughter since she is so timid.

Quoting collinsmommy0: Hugs. My son is 3.5 & was/is an anxious child. However, he's outgrowing some of his anxieties. If we are at a park or play date and a child is mean to him, he will refuse to play with them or go over their house. Or when we are there he stays close by. Which is understandable - if a child is hurting him, why would he want to play with them, KWIM?

I would set up some things with your family outside of the house but without the boy - like with your parents, something fun where she can be with you but can interact with them, such as bowling, mini golf, a trip to the zoo, etc - that helped my son get used to family friends & now he thinks they are awesome & constantly asks for play dates with them (even though they are adults!)
LuLuRex
by Silver Member on Dec. 22, 2014 at 9:55 AM
Please don't be hard on yourself, you sound like an amazing mother! You are being so proactive in getting help and answers for your daughter. Really, a lot of people would have ignored what they were seeing or think it would just go away on it's own, but you trusted your mommy instincts and took her to the pedi and then a therapist.

My friend's son has severe anxiety. It's heartbreaking to watch a child go through that. Big hugs to you, your daughter, and your family.
terra52590
by Member on Dec. 22, 2014 at 2:33 PM
Thank you :) my family kept brushing it off and said it will go away as she gets older but it's the first time I've ever seen a child with anxiety like this. Luckily her therapist sounds very confident in being able to help her :)

Quoting LuLuRex: Please don't be hard on yourself, you sound like an amazing mother! You are being so proactive in getting help and answers for your daughter. Really, a lot of people would have ignored what they were seeing or think it would just go away on it's own, but you trusted your mommy instincts and took her to the pedi and then a therapist.

My friend's son has severe anxiety. It's heartbreaking to watch a child go through that. Big hugs to you, your daughter, and your family.
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