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Need a professional opinion.

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:24 PM
  • 9 Replies
My son is 2. His father and I are not together. My son is very independent for his age. But like most toddlers, when they are sick they become clingy to the mom. Last night my son had a fever and wasn't feeling well. He was clingy to me. He still has a fever today. His father was suppose to get him today but I told him he had a fever and he could take has son Tuesday and Wednesday instead. My ex started complaining and getting pissed off. My son wants me. Now isn't it true that a toddler needs that sense of security from the mom because if they don't get that sense of security it could ruin them psychologically?? He needs to know that I'm there for him always especially while he's sick.
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-9):
NTPractitioner
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 12:32 PM

Do you trust his father to take good care of him?

vinalex0581
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 1:07 PM
Yes I know he will look after him but he won't cuddle with him. He's not a lovable father like. And he needs to be cuddled with right now.

Quoting NTPractitioner:

Do you trust his father to take good care of him?

butzi
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I would not think he would be psychologically scarred. I think it would have more of an impact on you.
Devious103102
by Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you're looking too far into things. Him being sick and going with his dad isn't going to screw him up psychologically.  If he's really sick and you want him home then just say "hey, he's really not doing well, he should stay home", not make up BS reasons. 

shoot4thestars
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 11:36 PM

I'm not a professional, so I don't know if they could ruin them.  I don't think switching visitation is a bad thing to do, although I would have still let Ds's Dad take him. 

babyspots17
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2014 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you are wrong to keep your son from his dad simply because he is sick especially if you feel the dad will take care of his son.   When you are no longer with the father of you child and he has custody you have to realize that you can't always be there.  What happens if tomorrow he still has a fever will you just push back another day?  I know you would rather not give your baby over to his dad when he is sick but I think you just deciding what is best was a bit of a jerk move.  Instead of telling the father what you are going to do and what he will just have to go along with maybe you should asked him for his opinion and a possible solution so now the father isn't all pissed off. 

vinalex0581
by Member on Feb. 26, 2015 at 12:25 PM
Yeah....welll.......guess what? I gave his father the option to take his son while he was sick and he refused to take him. Guess it wasn't a jerk move after all. He told me with the limited amount of time he gets with his son that he didn't want to waste it by taking care of a sick child. Now who's the jerk?

Quoting babyspots17:

I think you are wrong to keep your son from his dad simply because he is sick especially if you feel the dad will take care of his son.   When you are no longer with the father of you child and he has custody you have to realize that you can't always be there.  What happens if tomorrow he still has a fever will you just push back another day?  I know you would rather not give your baby over to his dad when he is sick but I think you just deciding what is best was a bit of a jerk move.  Instead of telling the father what you are going to do and what he will just have to go along with maybe you should asked him for his opinion and a possible solution so now the father isn't all pissed off. 

BulmaBrief
by Member on Feb. 26, 2015 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 Based on your original post this was a good response.  No need for the attitude.

And your son needs to learn that when he is sick he can rely on both you and his father to take care of his needs even if your methods are different. 

Quoting vinalex0581: Yeah....welll.......guess what? I gave his father the option to take his son while he was sick and he refused to take him. Guess it wasn't a jerk move after all. He told me with the limited amount of time he gets with his son that he didn't want to waste it by taking care of a sick child. Now who's the jerk?
Quoting babyspots17:

I think you are wrong to keep your son from his dad simply because he is sick especially if you feel the dad will take care of his son.   When you are no longer with the father of you child and he has custody you have to realize that you can't always be there.  What happens if tomorrow he still has a fever will you just push back another day?  I know you would rather not give your baby over to his dad when he is sick but I think you just deciding what is best was a bit of a jerk move.  Instead of telling the father what you are going to do and what he will just have to go along with maybe you should asked him for his opinion and a possible solution so now the father isn't all pissed off. 

 

sarahw06219
by Member on Mar. 1, 2015 at 12:52 AM
Yeah, OP you're still the jerk. Don't get all upset when someone calls you out on your bad behavior, when you were the one who asked for opinions. Now you're both wrong AND rude.

Quoting vinalex0581: Yeah....welll.......guess what? I gave his father the option to take his son while he was sick and he refused to take him. Guess it wasn't a jerk move after all. He told me with the limited amount of time he gets with his son that he didn't want to waste it by taking care of a sick child. Now who's the jerk?

Quoting babyspots17:

I think you are wrong to keep your son from his dad simply because he is sick especially if you feel the dad will take care of his son.   When you are no longer with the father of you child and he has custody you have to realize that you can't always be there.  What happens if tomorrow he still has a fever will you just push back another day?  I know you would rather not give your baby over to his dad when he is sick but I think you just deciding what is best was a bit of a jerk move.  Instead of telling the father what you are going to do and what he will just have to go along with maybe you should asked him for his opinion and a possible solution so now the father isn't all pissed off. 

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