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Eternal Punishment SUCKS

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 3:03 AM
  • 56 Replies

When the kids act up I usually just give a stern warning, then if I have to get onto them again I'll flick them once, third time is time out on their bed and/or spanking. Dd rarely requires physical punishment, maybe five times in the last 2 years, but my 4yo ds goes through phases where he just keeps going! To be honest, I tried shrugging it off, knowing he'd come through it in a couple weeks, but if I let him slide at all the goofy phase turns into the new norm. (Ask me how I know.) So he goes to "baby jail," long term bed time out, and keeps messing around no matter how many times he's flicked, spanked, has to put dots on his sticker chart (which have to be erased by a good deed and the Next good deed earns a sticker, since stickers can't just be pulled off) or threatened with losing privileges or events he won't be able to participate in if he doesn't earn his way off the bed. This is the third time this year we've done this for more than two days in a row. We all hate it and MIL more or less tells us we're bad parents and tries to coddle him and stop the punishment. I always tell him I love him and because of that I set boundries that will help him grow and learn. Lack of discipline, imo, is what makes a bad parent, but I grew up overdisciplined and strive for the happy medium.

WWYD???

by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 3:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 3:36 AM
I do timeout one minute per year of life
BirdE.
by Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 3:49 AM

That's always where we start, he just keeps going. And if he knows, "I just have to sit for four minutes then I can get back to it," it doesn't help. He'll be back in time out within four minutes of getting out. lol

Quoting MixedCooke: I do timeout one minute per year of life


Linda_Runs
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Mine are not toddlers anymore (8 and 10), but when they were I used the one minute per age to start, then two minutes per age if they continued or it was more serious.  But, never less than five minutes, even at 3 or 4.  I can still use time-out on my two, but they are 15 to 30 minutes long at their age.

Quoting BirdE.:

That's always where we start, he just keeps going. And if he knows, "I just have to sit for four minutes then I can get back to it," it doesn't help. He'll be back in time out within four minutes of getting out. lol

Quoting MixedCooke: I do timeout one minute per year of life



LaniBee
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:27 AM
I think it's kind of hard to say what I would do without some specific examples of the behavior. Time out and taking away toys usually worked well for us, but depending on the crime, I might have issued something a little more stern. We never spanked or hit, though.
Stevensmomma
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:38 AM
Keep doing what your doing minus the spanking hes trying you to see what he can get away with
ablackdolphin
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Be consistent in whatever you do that is the most important thing
mrswillie
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this
What do you mean you flick them?
TigerofMu
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:04 AM
2 moms liked this

You have to have discipline, and cannot let your MIL stop the consequences of his actions.  Be consistent, and hold your ground.  He is testing boundaries, and he will know you love him more if he has some than if he's allowed to run wild, because it shows you care.

Linda_Runs
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

You are so correct.  Consistency is paramount to maintaining discipline in the home.  If you give in once, they have you!  I have made both those mistakes.  Hey, I'm a human mom!

Quoting TigerofMu:

You have to have discipline, and cannot let your MIL stop the consequences of his actions.  Be consistent, and hold your ground.  He is testing boundaries, and he will know you love him more if he has some than if he's allowed to run wild, because it shows you care.


TigerofMu
by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:18 AM
2 moms liked this

Me too!

Quoting Linda_Runs:

You are so correct.  Consistency is paramount to maintaining discipline in the home.  If you give in once, they have you!  I have made both those mistakes.  Hey, I'm a human mom!

Quoting TigerofMu:

You have to have discipline, and cannot let your MIL stop the consequences of his actions.  Be consistent, and hold your ground.  He is testing boundaries, and he will know you love him more if he has some than if he's allowed to run wild, because it shows you care.


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