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He doesn't want to go to his dad

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:14 PM
  • 38 Replies

My son is 2, he will be 3 in August. A little back history, his father and I were never married and didn't live together, we have had an on and off relationship from the age of 8 months until 1.5 years old. His dad hasn't really been a constant in my sons life, due to the fathers choice. Well after we finally called it quits for good in May of last year, we decided that we would do every other weekend. After about 2 months of that, we decided to go to every other week due to the time difference between the towns we live in and my son seemed to really enjoy spending time with his dad. About 3 months into the every other week routine my son started crying when I told him it was time to go see daddy. He would cry until he fell asleep in the car and fight me or his dad when putting him in his car seat at the "switch location", he would also attach himself to me and have to be pulled off to even begin the car seat battle. When he would come home he would be so cranky and not listen to me and pretty much do whatever he pleased. I work with him about using the potty when he's home with me and you can tell he doesn't get that at his dads because he comes home and just poops and pees in his underwear.  I can ask him if he wants to see daddy and he will say no but he will talk to him on the phone once or twice a week, during that conversation he will tell his dad that he doesn't want to see him. I'm not sure what is going on as to why he doesn't want to go and his dad can't help share any light on that situation either. He does say that when he has him he is always telling him he wants to go home with mommy. After a few incidents with his father I have chosen to keep my son at home for the past 3 weeks and not let him go to his dads and he is a completely different child. He is eating much better, sleeps all night in his bed, isn't cranky and "rude", just seems to be a happier child in general. Has anyone else had anything similar to this happen? 

by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 1:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momofsixangels
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 2:11 PM
Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?
teresa87
by Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 2:34 PM


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 

virginiamama71
by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:14 PM

Have you taken him to a doctor after seeing bruises on him from head to toe?

Quoting teresa87:


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 


teresa87
by Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:18 PM

Yes, the doctor gave him a complete head to toe exam and said that he is physically fine. The only bruise we, the doctor and my boyfriend and I, had in question was one on his face. We all agree it looked as if someone grabbed him by the face. The dad says that he fell playing on his bike but the story and the way the bruise is doesn't add up. Thats also another reason why my son hasn't been back.

Quoting virginiamama71:

Have you taken him to a doctor after seeing bruises on him from head to toe?

Quoting teresa87:


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 


virginiamama71
by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:22 PM

If you suspect he is being abused at his father's home you can file a report with CPS. I would think the doctor did this after saying the bruise on his face was caused by someone grabbing him. CPS can investigate. Maybe supervised visits are needed until the interaction with father and son is better.

Quoting teresa87:

Yes, the doctor gave him a complete head to toe exam and said that he is physically fine. The only bruise we, the doctor and my boyfriend and I, had in question was one on his face. We all agree it looked as if someone grabbed him by the face. The dad says that he fell playing on his bike but the story and the way the bruise is doesn't add up. Thats also another reason why my son hasn't been back.

Quoting virginiamama71:

Have you taken him to a doctor after seeing bruises on him from head to toe?

Quoting teresa87:


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 



teresa87
by Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:34 PM

The doctor himself never flat out said he thought it was a bruise on the face, he just agreed with me. Would I know if he filed a report or could I find out? I've already spoken to a friend of mine who is an attorney and was advised to not send him back since we don't have legal paperwork saying that he has to go.

Quoting virginiamama71:

If you suspect he is being abused at his father's home you can file a report with CPS. I would think the doctor did this after saying the bruise on his face was caused by someone grabbing him. CPS can investigate. Maybe supervised visits are needed until the interaction with father and son is better.

Quoting teresa87:

Yes, the doctor gave him a complete head to toe exam and said that he is physically fine. The only bruise we, the doctor and my boyfriend and I, had in question was one on his face. We all agree it looked as if someone grabbed him by the face. The dad says that he fell playing on his bike but the story and the way the bruise is doesn't add up. Thats also another reason why my son hasn't been back.

Quoting virginiamama71:

Have you taken him to a doctor after seeing bruises on him from head to toe?

Quoting teresa87:


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 



momofsixangels
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:44 PM
You need to have him seen. Could be something more to it

Quoting teresa87:

Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 

teresa87
by Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:53 PM

Have my son seen? And by who?

Quoting momofsixangels: You need to have him seen. Could be something more to it
Quoting teresa87:


Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 


NearSeattleMom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this

Do you have a custody order and legal visitation agreement?

If this were me and my child, I would not let him go over there.  Obviously, the child is telling you something important by his behavior and his words.  Protect him.

Good luck.

momofsixangels
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 4:25 PM
By a dr

Quoting teresa87:

Have my son seen? And by who?

Quoting momofsixangels: You need to have him seen. Could be something more to it

Quoting teresa87:

Quoting momofsixangels: Sounds like something happened while he was at his dad's. Did he dad discipline him? Yell at him?

His dad says that he has basic rules in place and if he doesn't follow them then he gets in trouble. I'm wondering myself what these rules are because he comes home with bruises on him from head to toe. I understand little boys are going to get bumps and bruises from playing but this is a bit ridiculous I think. I do know that the dads "new wife" also has children and when she has her children, my son his 2 half brothers are there so its a total of 9 kids at once. 

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