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Potty training resistance - starting preschool

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2017 at 11:57 AM
  • 15 Replies

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!

by on Dec. 31, 2017 at 11:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe Robin
by Head Admin on Jan. 2, 2018 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Hi! It's nice to meet you!
Good luck with the potty training. It can definitely be a challenge! Here's a link to a post on this group with lots of potty training tips:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/preschool/forums/read/12868139/Potty_Training_101_Share_your_best_tips



I hope that helps!
Robin
pEACEBWU
by on Jan. 2, 2018 at 6:10 PM

Potty training can be so frustrating, especially with boys.  It seems boys take a lot longer and more content to sit in their wet dirty diapers than the girls, as a rule of thumb.  Your approach is applaudable.  I can relate to the pressure of life and society as new work comes to play.  It's possible your son with kids younger may help give him the boost he needs to decide to potty train?  Although reasoning is hard at his age would he understand if you shared with him that he'll have to go into a class with younger kids until he uses the potty?  Have you tried reward programs?  If you go potty in the toilet we'll give you a sticker.  If you earn so many stickers we'll take you and buy you xyz (whatever his favorite toy is).  They do eventually potty train when they are ready.  Hoping you find peace in whatever the outcome is.  Sounds like the chosen daycare provider is willing to work with the situation, that's really great.  Praying he feels comfortable with the new changes and embraces growing into a big boy!

aimee3bunnies
by Member on Jan. 3, 2018 at 1:06 PM

Thank You for such a sweet and supportive post! Yes, I have tried a chart. He loves stickers and that does seem to get him interested for a brief time. Funny, but last week he comes and tells me he needs to go potty (It was evident that he had already gone in his pants, though). So I take him and dump the poop from his pull-up to the toilet and sit him up there for a few minutes. When he got down he was excited because he thought he had earned a sticker (which I did give him for telling me...guess its a step in the right direction!) We have had the conversation about being in the bigger kids class and it doesnt really mean much to him, yet. He is the small and pretty immature to begin with so he tends to be friends with younger ones anyway. His first day was yesterday and he was excited to go and he had a great day. His class aide is the one who will be changing him each time and there is a station right there in the room. They send a potty report home every day. He didn't go on the potty at all yesterday. Had three changes, all three wet and pooped his britches on the way home. I know he will get it! He is my sweet little guy and I just really don't want to make it stressful on him.

Quoting pEACEBWU:

Potty training can be so frustrating, especially with boys.  It seems boys take a lot longer and more content to sit in their wet dirty diapers than the girls, as a rule of thumb.  Your approach is applaudable.  I can relate to the pressure of life and society as new work comes to play.  It's possible your son with kids younger may help give him the boost he needs to decide to potty train?  Although reasoning is hard at his age would he understand if you shared with him that he'll have to go into a class with younger kids until he uses the potty?  Have you tried reward programs?  If you go potty in the toilet we'll give you a sticker.  If you earn so many stickers we'll take you and buy you xyz (whatever his favorite toy is).  They do eventually potty train when they are ready.  Hoping you find peace in whatever the outcome is.  Sounds like the chosen daycare provider is willing to work with the situation, that's really great.  Praying he feels comfortable with the new changes and embraces growing into a big boy!


boymom2014
by on Jan. 5, 2018 at 4:33 PM
Between 1 and 2 or 2 and a half even 3 you aren't supposed to push the issue after 3 it's time to push the issue. Our 3 is in older 3s class no being babied wear underwear use the toilet. He is 90 to 93 percent potty trained due to the fact I pulled him out of the 2 and 3 class he's now in with his 3 peers 3 x a day . There's a time when enough is enough with a 4 year old and especially an 8 year old to not get up at night to go. Time to push the issue and get it done .not trying to be mean but not trying to sugar coat it either

Quoting aimee3bunnies:

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!

aimee3bunnies
by Member on Jan. 8, 2018 at 9:58 AM
From everything I️ have read and heard, forcing the issue creates to much stress and could delay his potty training even more. During diaper changes I️ am taking him to the toilet each time and I’m hoping that he will begin putting I️t all together. He’s beginning to tell me more often when he is dirty. He does know that he will be able to go to pre-k class when he is using the potty and know he wants to. I’m sure he will put I️t together soon!

Quoting boymom2014: Between 1 and 2 or 2 and a half even 3 you aren't supposed to push the issue after 3 it's time to push the issue. Our 3 is in older 3s class no being babied wear underwear use the toilet. He is 90 to 93 percent potty trained due to the fact I pulled him out of the 2 and 3 class he's now in with his 3 peers 3 x a day . There's a time when enough is enough with a 4 year old and especially an 8 year old to not get up at night to go. Time to push the issue and get it done .not trying to be mean but not trying to sugar coat it either

Quoting aimee3bunnies:

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!

boymom2014
by on Jan. 8, 2018 at 10:08 AM
He's not a baby he's 4

Quoting aimee3bunnies: From everything I️ have read and heard, forcing the issue creates to much stress and could delay his potty training even more. During diaper changes I️ am taking him to the toilet each time and I’m hoping that he will begin putting I️t all together. He’s beginning to tell me more often when he is dirty. He does know that he will be able to go to pre-k class when he is using the potty and know he wants to. I’m sure he will put I️t together soon!

Quoting boymom2014: Between 1 and 2 or 2 and a half even 3 you aren't supposed to push the issue after 3 it's time to push the issue. Our 3 is in older 3s class no being babied wear underwear use the toilet. He is 90 to 93 percent potty trained due to the fact I pulled him out of the 2 and 3 class he's now in with his 3 peers 3 x a day . There's a time when enough is enough with a 4 year old and especially an 8 year old to not get up at night to go. Time to push the issue and get it done .not trying to be mean but not trying to sugar coat it either

Quoting aimee3bunnies:

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!

aimee3bunnies
by Member on Jan. 8, 2018 at 10:15 AM
That is true but DS is small for his age and was behind with other milestones too

Quoting boymom2014: He's not a baby he's 4

Quoting aimee3bunnies: From everything I️ have read and heard, forcing the issue creates to much stress and could delay his potty training even more. During diaper changes I️ am taking him to the toilet each time and I’m hoping that he will begin putting I️t all together. He’s beginning to tell me more often when he is dirty. He does know that he will be able to go to pre-k class when he is using the potty and know he wants to. I’m sure he will put I️t together soon!

Quoting boymom2014: Between 1 and 2 or 2 and a half even 3 you aren't supposed to push the issue after 3 it's time to push the issue. Our 3 is in older 3s class no being babied wear underwear use the toilet. He is 90 to 93 percent potty trained due to the fact I pulled him out of the 2 and 3 class he's now in with his 3 peers 3 x a day . There's a time when enough is enough with a 4 year old and especially an 8 year old to not get up at night to go. Time to push the issue and get it done .not trying to be mean but not trying to sugar coat it either

Quoting aimee3bunnies:

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!

JaimieP
by New Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 4:56 PM

My son is going to be 4 in Februrary He was fully potty trained by July 6 of this year and we are currently regressing due to a bully at pre-school. 

What started the process were the kids at daycare telling him "ewe, your poop is gross".  He has bad food allergies and if he got food with ANY corn by products in it (corn syrup or meal etc) he would have a nasty diarreha. Its sounds bad but it started to work, we did that at home.  He thought it was funny, we plugged our nose and his and went, EWE stinky butt.  He laughed and laughed but he didn't want to be a stinky butt.  He started to gradually go. It wasn't consistant.

I was spending $40 a month for pull-ups for my house, my moms house and daycare and I was going to be adding preschool on to that.  160 for diapers a month is un-reasonable.  I told him on July 4th if he started going in the toilet, every month I didn 't have to buy diapers, I'd put $40 of that money I didn't have to spend into a Mickey Mouse fund to go see the big guy.  By July 6th he fully potty trained himself. 

We'd tried poopy cars (cars in a clear bucket that he got each time he went poop) didn't work, Candy, Stickers, Sticker Charts that when filled he got to choose a prize, Marbles, Money. Nothing worked except for the Mickey.  We will be doing that October for the Mickey's Halloween Party.  I'm a single mom and Disney Land will do payments so that's what we're doing, thats the only way I could do it.


JaimieP
by New Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 5:11 PM

He can put it together now.  He's old enough his brain can make those connections unless he delayed, which I I don't think from what your describing he is.  Like my son he is just lazy, what I mean by that is he's distracted and more interested in playing that using the restroom.  Right now my son's regressing he's becoming lazy, he will stand there and just pee while doing nothing.  

Give your middle son more credit for what he can do and know.  He is able to connect a lot of things. 

But theres something else going on. Look at what is going on in your life, you started a new job, he just started daycare right (?) sounds like its a new environment unless I read that wrong.  A lot of changes going on.  He may need to adjust.   For your older son stop liquids a few hrs before bed, theres lots of great tips for that, but if they don't work talk to the dr.  There may be something medically going on.  However, my mom didn't stop wetting the bed till she was 13.

Quoting aimee3bunnies: From everything I️ have read and heard, forcing the issue creates to much stress and could delay his potty training even more. During diaper changes I️ am taking him to the toilet each time and I’m hoping that he will begin putting I️t all together. He’s beginning to tell me more often when he is dirty. He does know that he will be able to go to pre-k class when he is using the potty and know he wants to. I’m sure he will put I️t together soon!
Quoting boymom2014: Between 1 and 2 or 2 and a half even 3 you aren't supposed to push the issue after 3 it's time to push the issue. Our 3 is in older 3s class no being babied wear underwear use the toilet. He is 90 to 93 percent potty trained due to the fact I pulled him out of the 2 and 3 class he's now in with his 3 peers 3 x a day . There's a time when enough is enough with a 4 year old and especially an 8 year old to not get up at night to go. Time to push the issue and get it done .not trying to be mean but not trying to sugar coat it either
Quoting aimee3bunnies:

I am the mom of 3 kids, a 27mo girl, and 4 and 8 year old boys. My boys both have been stubborn when it comes to using the potty. My oldest daytime trained at about 3 1/2 but has never been dry at night. My 4 year old still does not use the potty. I have not pushed the issue at all because from what I have read and been told, it does more harm than good. With all of my kids, I have been content to let them figure it out on their own time and use the potty when they are ready. It has worked amazingly with my youngest. She is fully potty trained with no accidents in months! I had no idea that my daughter would be using the potty before her middle brother and dry at night before both of them!

Well, here's the issue. I will be starting a new job next week which will require my two youngest to go to a daycare/preschool. I am really hoping that my 4 year old can make some improvement because he will be kept in an older 2's/ 3-year old class until be can use the toilet. He is not really close either. I will ask him if he wants to try and sit on the potty and he avoids it everytime. He will sit coloring or watching a movie not caring a bit if he is dirty or soaking wet.

So, I am looking for suggestions, hoping that I can get this kid interested!


aimee3bunnies
by Member on Jan. 9, 2018 at 5:50 PM

Thank You! Yes, we are very busy and things have changed. I do think he feel when he has to go because he does go off to his hiding spot. And same as your son will stand and wet his pants without any effort to make it to the potty. I do think he will be ready very soon and Im looking forward to that. The Mickey thing sounds great!!! I hope it works for him. Im hoping you all can straighten out this kid at school. Thanks so much for your post and support. You can yahoo messenger me if you like: aimee3bunnies@yahoo.com. I'd love to chat!

Quoting JaimieP:

My son is going to be 4 in Februrary He was fully potty trained by July 6 of this year and we are currently regressing due to a bully at pre-school. 

What started the process were the kids at daycare telling him "ewe, your poop is gross".  He has bad food allergies and if he got food with ANY corn by products in it (corn syrup or meal etc) he would have a nasty diarreha. Its sounds bad but it started to work, we did that at home.  He thought it was funny, we plugged our nose and his and went, EWE stinky butt.  He laughed and laughed but he didn't want to be a stinky butt.  He started to gradually go. It wasn't consistant.

I was spending $40 a month for pull-ups for my house, my moms house and daycare and I was going to be adding preschool on to that.  160 for diapers a month is un-reasonable.  I told him on July 4th if he started going in the toilet, every month I didn 't have to buy diapers, I'd put $40 of that money I didn't have to spend into a Mickey Mouse fund to go see the big guy.  By July 6th he fully potty trained himself. 

We'd tried poopy cars (cars in a clear bucket that he got each time he went poop) didn't work, Candy, Stickers, Sticker Charts that when filled he got to choose a prize, Marbles, Money. Nothing worked except for the Mickey.  We will be doing that October for the Mickey's Halloween Party.  I'm a single mom and Disney Land will do payments so that's what we're doing, thats the only way I could do it.



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