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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Do you have problems with Temper Tantrums?

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Hi. I have a problem with my 3 year old and temper tantrums. How do I stop them? She doesn't do it if she gets into trouble-
Example: Her barbie was not where she thought it was so she threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming. What am I doing wrong as a parent? Or is it just her personality? Help!!! I can't even get my 17 year old sister to watch her because she is too much to handle.
AYN IDEAS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 11:32 AM
Replies (11-15):
MotherOfTwo1637
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 5:08 PM
I try to ignore tantrums but it is easier said than done.  My main problem is my husband.  He's more into threatening and spanking.  That kind of discipline.  That's fine since it works for him.  But that doesn't mean I need to be that way.  DH sleeps during the day so TJ wakes him up with his tantrums sometimes.  Then it looks like I'm not disciplining him correctly because I'm ignoring him!  I can' win.
edenchai
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 5:09 PM

Quoting KimberC:

Hello there!
  I was having the same problem with my 4 yr old but now we have been going through a program called Regional Intervention Program(RIP)  and are now very successful with this problem.  First thing you must always remember stay calm as possible when the tantrum begins give her a when/then statement with a positive, for instance, "When you are ready to use your big girl words and stop having your tantrum Mommy can talk to you and help find your barbie!"  Turn off your attention to her even if it means going to another room, as long as she is not in danger or putting anyone else in harms way let her be.  It may take awhile for her to get ahold of herself but as soon as she calms down let her know that now she is using her big girl words and is calm mommy can help her find barbie. From that moment on everytime she even tries to start a tantrum give her the when/then and turn it off.  They see that this has worked in the past getting them what they want and they will do it everytime if we feed into it.  This puts YOU in control not them.  This sounds like a lecture but believe me it works!!!!!  My child responded to it immediately, by no means does it make them perfect but he hardly ever gets upset. It makes me a calmer person too.     
Wow, it sounds so easy lol.  I'm going to have to try it.  Alex's tantrums are few and far between now adays, but last night she scream, cried, and carried on for over a half hour because the cat had made a pull in her sock.  I think the hardest is when you're tired and all you want is a little peace...the trickiest part can be keeping your cool while they're losing theirs. *sigh*
daughterofsion
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 5:15 PM
Just like all the moms on here, my kids have tantrums all of them did. It is not a personality flaw or a case of bad parenting, it is a frustrated child who knows no other way to let it out. But I disagree with everyone's advice and I know I am going to ruffle a few feathers out there, but I have only had to deal with a tantrum ONE TIME from any of my kids and that is not from ignoring it and acting like they aren't happening. They are screaming and kicking in the middle of public. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!! I pick them up by the arm or leg (whatever is sticking out at the time) and I wear out their little legs and behind, YES I said I beat their little behinds. Before we even get out of the car I have a talk with my kids. I say something like this" If you decide that you want to act crazy in here, remember mommy is the craziest person you know, you don't want me to embarrass you and show everyone else do you?" That usually handles it but if for some strange reason someone starts to think that a tantrum will work than I BEAT (yes beat, that can be whup, spank or whatever you want to call it) their little behinds.
melamy99
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 5:17 PM
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I most definitely have problems with temper tantrums!! My 4yr old has them every time he doesn't get his way and even worse when he starts getting tired. My 13 month old is now having them. When he is not getting his way, he will fall ou tin the floor on his back and begin kicking his feet, and then proceeds to roll over on his stomach and scream. Just last night he was having one while I was trying to cook because I would't pick him up and hold him. I took him to his daddy do I could kick and he continued to kick and scream in there with his daddy until he was put in his bed. Even after he was put to bed and he door shut, he was sill screaming 40 min later. I finally went and got him out of the bed when i finished cooking and he hushed the minute I picked him up. When my 4yr old gets like this I can occasionaly get him to tae a nap but otherwise he jumos up and down and hollers and whines until he gets his way. IF ANYONE has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know.
charmed3times
by on Jun. 7, 2007 at 7:38 PM
Lots of really great ideas......
I have tried the whole ignoring idea with no luck- she just contiues sometimes for 45 min- 1 hour. I have tried time out......, I have tried threatening, counting to 10, and of course beating her little butt. But to no avail has anything worked.  Of course she was great until her baby brother came into our lives- tantrums started, her little friend Fred showed up (whom I cant see- but I know he is here to help her). I know she probably thinks she get no attention but I can say that it is not true. I try to play barbies or whatever with her but if Landon needs something she starts a tantrum- my hubby thinks I should take the belt to her and she will stop----but I know that wont work. She is just one of those kids that any little thing will set her off....like getting a purple vitamin instead of pink.....lol
I just dont get why I get the tantrums and daddy gets nothing- of course they just look at him and they stop or start crying.....
I have no clue but thank you all so much at least I know that I am not the only one in the world with a difficult child....
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