As soon as I realized I was pregnant I knew immediately that this was a blessing, a gift from God.She was miraculously conceived while using birth control.I was just about convinced that I was unable to have children because over the past 15 years, while in long term relationships, I was not careful at all and never conceived.
And then the reality set in.I am unmarried, and was only dating the dad for a few months.He was just as surprised at me, and at this point is not in the picture.
I still feel VERY blessed, but many other emotions as well.Scared, lonely, sad, worried, embarrassed, and wonder why now??
I come from a very traditional family, and always pictured myself doing this in the "right" order - marriage, home, babies.
At 38 years old, this is by far the most difficult learning experience I have faced.My fun, single, carefree, adventurous days have come to a screeching halt.I've had to completely change direction to prepare for a beautiful baby girl.
I am overjoyed that she came so easy at my age, but wonder everyday if I am going to be able to do this all by myself.And why I have yet to be blessed with a wonderful husband to comfort me and share the joy.