Although I'm now married I was a young single teen mom and raised my oldest daughter on my own in Chicago, IL. It was a difficult time considering  I took off one day and ended up in Chicago and didn't know anyone there.  I think the feeling of being "alone" or misunderstood, confused or even clueless about parenting or surviving on your own with a new little life who is completely dependent on you is something many of us face--for me, I felt I had to be strong and prove something--to my mother, to the world and then ultimately to myself.  That's a lot of weight to plop down on two skinny young shoulders.  My journey brought me to where I am and who I am today and I love my life.  I look back and know that had someone reached out and just said, Hey, I get it--let's talk, let's hang out, let's figure it out together--I would have exhaled many years ago and I know the journey could have held better memories and less pain and regret. Eventually someone did and I let her in, a wonderful friend-one who tested to be true and is to this day my BFF.  We all have a need to belong somewhere, to someone and to something that matters and makes us better than we were a moment ago. I made it, I'm here and I am even working on the whole motherhood thing again from a totally different place in life--it's almost like a first time instead of a second.  One thing I know--I learn from my experiences and what good is the knowledge if you don't pay it forward? If you don't reach out and offer what was not offered you?  If you are able to use the past to better the future for even one person...wouldn't you? If not, all that you lived through and all the knowledge you gained along the way becomes self-serving and eventually pointless. 

I tried for years to leave that broken, rebellious girl-woman behind.  I worked so hard to improve myself and my life that I wanted to distance myself from who I'd been and where I'd been until I realized one day that there is hope in my story, not shame or guilt--so I stopped pushing the past away and embraced it--I even gained a new respect for myself.  I'm a survivor.  Why bury that? 

It's my heart to be a friend and a help now to other young moms.  Some things you just can't understand unless you've been there.

I now head a young single moms group for moms teen to 30 yrs.  Childcare is provided and both the moms and the little ones have a great time. If you want to meet some new friends for you and your kids, consider coming and hanging out with us. It's somewhere to belong, something to belong to and be a part of that really matters.

Member of CafeMom since October 2007