I Still spend so much time crying and trying to fill in the blanks about WHY my Stu~Baby was taken (yes, I do know in my MIND that those answers won't come til I reach the other side of this life- but I still haven't moved past that stage in myheart!) I also STILL spend too much time sleeping- I SEE him when I'm asleep,

Listening to sentimental downloaded songs & watching movies, both ones I've always loved, and those that were close to his heart....he was a HUGE Pink Floyd fan(I've always enjoyed their musid,too)....but no matter how I've tried-Star Wars has NEVER appealed to me!.....the words "Luke, I am your father" still don't enter into my conversations!!

Avoiding crowded places where I am certain to run into people who ask insensitive questions....grocery shopping at Super WalMart in 3 a.m. is a normal thing for me!

Trying to create journals, scrapbooks, frame photos, and any and everything to not only occupy my time, but to have for my children when they are older....like the zany things he did...like putting on the right turn signal when turning left :)

I've got a newly named diet....it's called the "BOUNCE" diet....you eat, & when the food hits your stomache-it bounces into the toilet. NOT BY CHOICE-but since my husband's death I've gone from a size 20-22 to a 10. I HAVE talked to a doctor btw, and he makes sure I take vitamins and come to see him on a regular basis. He said he's seen this in other grief situations, and to try to enjoy the good things that are still here, and be less tense, and with time I will adjust.

Life Insurance was practically NON-EXISTANT and the state of MS requires truck drivers to have EVERY test possible by the state medical examiner, and MS allow A YEAR for the tests to be completed. Well, the tests are FINALLY finished, so as soon as the rest of the money is funded, I am purchasing the house we live in and beginning the process of making a rental property our HOME--lots of plans will be waaaaay down the road, but it keeps me occupied looking up DIY projects online. I've even learned how to install a ceiling fan, change out a heating element on a clothes dryer, and replace a FEW shingles on the porch to keep the boards on the porch from rotting.