Peace and Love All,

Hey I’m a Mom now. To say my life has change would be the world’s biggest understatement. I get to watch this little person grow and experience life. Every time she sees something new she lights up. It’s like I’m reliving life again through her eyes. There’s no better feeling. The happiest moment I’ve had thus far was walking in a room and she smiled. Man I don’t think there is a word in the English language that can explain how amazing that feels. The first time she held her hand up by herself I called everyone I could think of to tell them about it. I never in a million and one years could have been convinced that motherhood could feel so good. She my little candy girl. *laughing* I must have listened to one to many New Edition albums while I was pregnant, because she loves listening to their music now.

The first night we spent together I was tired as heck. I was expecting for her to sleep at least a few hours considering the journey we had just went through. No such luck though. I mean thank the goddess above for my sister. She stayed with us the first night and she stayed up with Zölawnye so I could get some much needed rest. When I finally awoke she was asleep and what was playing in the background? None other then New Edition. My sister used New Edition and India Arie’s music to put her to sleep. Its funny now, my baby came in the world craving New Edition’s music.

I’m a human bottle sometimes when she smiles at me I don’t know if she smiling because Mommy is coming or she sees her bottle walking towards her. *laughing* To say I don’t care which it is seems funny, but it’s the truth. Whatever is it that brings a smile to that beautiful face is good enough for me. I have to make some time to sit down and figure out how to load my video clips from my phone on here so you can see my happy baby girl. She’ll be 3 months old in a couple of days (November 17^th). She’s already so independent. I watch her grow day after day and it bothers me that her father is missing out on such an amazing life changing event. As she experiences all her firsts, he sees none of them and that makes me a bit sad.

I’ve changed so much in the last 3 months. Since Zölawnye’s birth I’ve started decorating our home. I never did that before. I use to put a few pictures on the walls and call it a day. Now I’m hanging pictures, adding rugs, decorating the couch with pillows, I have hanging plants and so on. I want for our house to feel like a home for my little one. I don‘t want to become a Mommy Zombie where I can’t see myself pass the tip of my baby’s nose. So I’ve been trying to get back into my own life. But dang it if I don’t bring my baby with me. *laughing* Okay cheesy joke. Anyhow catch you soon.