I became a step-mom almost 5 years ago when my husband's 2 daughters were 6 and 8. They are now 11 and 12. They live with us full-time and visit their birth mother and her husband 5 states away during Christmas and summers. Their mother is from the Philippines and their features mirror hers rather than my husband's, who like me, is Caucasian. Because of this, people often think they are adopted. I am a logical, organized, educated, caring person but my role of stepmother often reduces me to tears, incoherency, depression and an overly stern demeanor that I never knew existed. They are not bad girls, but they sometimes do bad things, just like every other kid out there, I suppose. My parents can't stand the sight of them because of bad things they've done or said to them.  They grudgingly include them in family events knowing they have to if they want to see me and my son (born to us after we were married and with a severe developmental disability). I count my days by when they will next be leaving to visit their mother and those are the happiest times, when they're gone and it's just me and my husband and our son. I joined this site to commiserate with other mothers who may be going through the catastrophe we call step-mothering.