☆~☆ Little White Lies Uncensored ☆~☆
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NOT A BITCH GROUP http://www.cafemom.com/group/539/
My son Connor likes to watch Elmo on TV, play with his Elmo Live,
etc; but really, I think I like Elmo more than he does, and I get him Elmo stuff because I like it.
My favorite place to be is at my Mom's house. I wish that we lived closer to each other, it's so relaxing for me to just sit and watch TV with my parents and talk about unimportant shit. I wish I saw my sister more often too. I really like smoking. I know it's a horrible, unhealthy habit, and it's bad for my baby (I don't smoke around him, btw) but I don't really want to quit, because I like it so much. It's not even really an addiction to nicotine, which I'm sure I have, I just love how it makes me feel, how it tastes and smells. It really takes the edge off of my stress.
I love my Mom. She is truly my best friend. Ryan and Millie are definitely up there, but I can honestly tell my mom anything, and she'll talk to me about it. I feel like I can completely let my defenses down around her, and she protects me. I don't do it often, because it upsets her when I'm upset; and then I feel guilty. I don't want to think about losing her. Some of my major pet peeves are when people mix up you're and your, there and their and they're, etc. I correct grammar in my head whenever I read things on the internet or when someone's talking. I don't do it to feel elitist or anything, I just figure if you're going to speak a language, you should do it right.
I want to learn Spanish so that I can teach it to my kids. I just have a feeling that it'll be quite a useful skill in the future of this country. As a parent, it's my job to prepare my children for the real world, and teaching them Spanish would be preparing them for life in the real world.
I don't know what my dream job is. When I was in high school, I told myself I wanted to be an artist or an actor, but I really don't think I'm suited for either of those things, even though I like them. I guess I'm living my dream job now, being a stay at home mom. When I'm mad at someone, or I don't like them, I can't look them in the face or the eyes. I just feel like I'm going to go off and lose it if I do. I daydream a lot about what Connor is going to be like when he grows up. Once, I imagined him like a combination of Eric, Hyde and Kelso from That 70's Show. I hope that I can be a good enough parent to make him a good person. I want him to be independent and strong, but sensitive and tolerant too. I really want to teach him that happiness shouldn't be dependent on someone else, that you have to make yourself happy. But I don't know if I can, because maybe it's something you have to learn for yourself the hard way.