Thought Bubble

"dd is with her dad, stuck at work all day and b..."

About

  • Location: Minnesota
  • ~mother of 1 beautiful little girl~
  • Interests: music, tatoos, body piercing, gay rights, awareness of just about any kind, vaccination, natural... more
  • Last Login: 03/21/16
  • CafeMom Veteran
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  • Because I'm a man.........

    Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in 
    the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long
     
    after hypothermia has set in.
     
    Calling AAA is not an option.
     
    I will win.
     
    _______________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running
     
    very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
     
    engine as if I know what I'm looking at.
     
    If another man shows up, one of us will say to
     
    the other, "I used to be able to fix these things,
     
    but now with all these computers and
     
    everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
     
    We will then drink a couple of beers and break
     
    wind, as a form of holy communion.
     
    ___________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold,
     
    I need someone to bring me soup and take
     
    care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
     
    You're a woman. You never get as sick
     
    as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I can be relied
     
    upon to purchase basic groceries at the store,
     
    like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
     
    to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."
     
    For all I know, these are the same thing...
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when one of our
     
    appliances stops working, I will insist on taking
     
    it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost
     
    me twice as much once the repair person
     
    gets here and has to put it back together.
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I must hold the
     
    television remote control in my hand while
     
    I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
     
    I may miss a whole show looking for it,
     
    though one time I was able to survive by
     
    holding a calculator instead
     
    (applies to engineers only)
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask
     
    me what I'm thinking about.
     
    The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex,
     
    sports or sex. I have to make up something
     
    else when you ask, so just don't ask.
     
    ____________________________________________________
    ____________ 
    Because I'm a man, you don't have to
     
    ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
     
    are, if you're crying at the end of
     
    it, I didn't... and if you are
     
    feeling amorous afterwards . . . then I
     
    will certainly at least remember the
     
    name and recommend it to others.
     
    __________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing 
    is fine. I thought what you were wearing five
     
    minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of
     
    shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
     
    looks fine. It does not make your ass look
     
    too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and
     
    margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine.
     
    You look fine. Can we just go now?
     
    ___________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, and this is, after all,
     
    the year 2012, I will share equally in the
     
    housework. You just do the laundry, the
     
    cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming,
     
    and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
     
    wandering around in the garden with a
     
    beer, wondering what to do..
     
    _______________________________________________________________
     
    This has been a public service message for
      women to better understand men

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