heidi1439

~mother of 1 beautiful little girl~
Location: Minnesota
Thought Bubble:
"dd is with her dad, stuck at work all day and bf is on a trip without me. happy moithers day to me-"
Last Login: 06/22/14

CafeMom Veteran

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  • Personal Statement

    -I love being a mom more than anything in the world.

    -I am am divorced and in love with a wonderful man that loves

    my daughter as his own.

    -I am the very proud parent of a child with special needs.

    -My child has never cried it out or been spanked.-My daughter Ava is a beautiful, energetic special needs child. She is the reason my heart beats and she is my life.

    -I support cancer awareness. My mother is a survivor and I lost my father to cancer when he was 48.

    -I am domestic abuse (emotional and physical) survivor.

    -I am a recovering self injurer. I have been cut free for almost a year and a half.

    -I have Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS) Its way beyond being tired all the time.

    -I choose not to vaccinate.

    -I am very prochoice, and I am christian. (please spare me your judgement, I have already been saved)

    -I believe that gay people without a doubt should be allowed to marry AND adopt.

    I am an alcoholic and drug addict, but clean now.


  • About Me

  • The Beautiful Butterfly

    I am the child who has a disability, who can not do the things that you do, But that does not mean I am useless, I have feelings and emotions, just like you.

    I can hear the things you are saying, even though with words I can not yet speak, I may not be physically-able to do things like you, but that does not mean I am weak.

    I know there are many things about me,
    that you simply do not understand,
    But please don't shy away from me,
    I could use a friend, and a warm helping hand.

    I may have a mind that works differently,
    Pages in a book - I may flap instead of turn,
    But that does not mean you can't teach me,
    you might be surprised at just what I can learn.

    If you think when I don't cooperate, I'm misbehaving,
    And conclude that I'm not disciplined enough,
    Please take a moment to consider,
    that the road I must travel can be rough.

    When you stare at me, point, or start to whisper,
    it makes me sad, and I so want to cry ---
    Why do you think of me as some crippled caterpillar?
    Why can't you see that I'm God's beautiful butterfly?

    ©2003 Michelle M. Guppy

  • How an Autistic Child thinks......

    Nobody can see my disability. I look just like every other kid-attractive, walking, making sound's. They can't see how my neurons are scrambled in my brain. They can't see the misconnections between the left and right brain. Nobody can see I have autism.

    Nobody can see that my body is sick. No one can see that my stomach is in knots from my digestive system not working. No one can that my body and mind are starving because my cells don't make the right enzymes to digest food. No one see that I suffer from low blood sugar because I can't properly metabolize nourishment.

    No one can see that my body is attacking its own nerve cells from auto-immune dysfunction. No one can see that mercury lead and arsenic cannot be excreted from my body, so it keeps building up in my brain. No one understands that my body cannot tolerate normal enjoyments for children, like bright, vivid colors and loud noises. I desperately want to be a kid and enjoy these things, but my body just won't let me.

    But everyone can see how inappropriate my behavior can be when I am out in public. Everyone can see how immature I can be compared to other kids my age. Everyone sees the 2-year old tantrums when things have been too overwhelming for me. Everyone sees my frustration from trying to cope.

    Everyone sees my screaming and fighting. Everyone just assumes I'm being bad, not that my body hurts, my eyes are in pain from colors, my ears ring with loud noises not heard by others.

    Everyone sees my tantrums when I don't get my way. No one sees that I can't explain my fear when I think I'm not being understood. Everyone may see my screams when my mom takes something away from me. No one can see that having something of comfort can keep my fears under control for me, and taking it away makes my nerves explodes in anxiety.

    No one understands how hard I have to work to keep my behaviors from reacting to the chemical imbalances in my body that makes me feel horrible. No one can see that, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I cannot control it. No one can see the shame I feel after I've had a meltdown from my body's problems.

    What they don't see I am a person. I have feelings and want to be loved and accepted like everyone else. What they don't see is that, when they look at me like I need a good spanking; I understand that I'm not capable of controlling my body.

    What they don't see is that I scream because I don't know how to say "HELP ME"
    What they don't see is that I hear every ugly word they say, but for the life of me, I can't make my mouth say what I'm feeling. But they don't see that as a disability. They say I am unmanageable. They say I am a problem.

    But I am not a problem. I HAVE AUTISM. My mom has taken me to more doctors and specialist than you can ever imagine. She's read more books and done more research on my disease than parents would ever want. She has tried special diet, supplements, drugs and various metabolic therapies. She has PRAYED for GUIDANCE and asked for discernment on how to help my body. And behaviors, OH YES, has she tried everything to help my behavior.

    Stop telling her all I need is a spanking. If spanking would stop all this, my mom would gladly exchange my disability for a spanking. She knows better than all of you what I need to help me, and what we both need is your understanding, not ignorance.

    I just want to be accepted and understood. No blamed and ashamed, I want to be appreciated for my gifts. I do have some if you look more closely. I want to be cared for as a person. I want you to care, even when I act like I don't.

    I want to be respected, just like you do. I want you to respect my mom and dad for all the hard work they have done to help me try to lead a normal a life as possible. I want you to respect my family and all the struggles we have to endure because of our love for each other.

    I want to be LOVED like any other child. And need you to role model respectful behavior for me so I can be respectful too. I want you to love me just like God would.

     

    This pass this along to everyone you know.

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  • Because I'm a man.........

    Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in 
    the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long
     
    after hypothermia has set in.
     
    Calling AAA is not an option.
     
    I will win.
     
    _______________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running
     
    very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
     
    engine as if I know what I'm looking at.
     
    If another man shows up, one of us will say to
     
    the other, "I used to be able to fix these things,
     
    but now with all these computers and
     
    everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
     
    We will then drink a couple of beers and break
     
    wind, as a form of holy communion.
     
    ___________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold,
     
    I need someone to bring me soup and take
     
    care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
     
    You're a woman. You never get as sick
     
    as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I can be relied
     
    upon to purchase basic groceries at the store,
     
    like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
     
    to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."
     
    For all I know, these are the same thing...
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, when one of our
     
    appliances stops working, I will insist on taking
     
    it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost
     
    me twice as much once the repair person
     
    gets here and has to put it back together.
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I must hold the
     
    television remote control in my hand while
     
    I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
     
    I may miss a whole show looking for it,
     
    though one time I was able to survive by
     
    holding a calculator instead
     
    (applies to engineers only)
     
    _________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask
     
    me what I'm thinking about.
     
    The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex,
     
    sports or sex. I have to make up something
     
    else when you ask, so just don't ask.
     
    ____________________________________________________
    ____________ 
    Because I'm a man, you don't have to
     
    ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
     
    are, if you're crying at the end of
     
    it, I didn't... and if you are
     
    feeling amorous afterwards . . . then I
     
    will certainly at least remember the
     
    name and recommend it to others.
     
    __________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing 
    is fine. I thought what you were wearing five
     
    minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of
     
    shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
     
    looks fine. It does not make your ass look
     
    too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and
     
    margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine.
     
    You look fine. Can we just go now?
     
    ___________________________________________________________________
     
    Because I'm a man, and this is, after all,
     
    the year 2012, I will share equally in the
     
    housework. You just do the laundry, the
     
    cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming,
     
    and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
     
    wandering around in the garden with a
     
    beer, wondering what to do..
     
    _______________________________________________________________
     
    This has been a public service message for
      women to better understand men

  • Speaking my mind-if you dont like it- blow me!

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    i really need some advice about dd's skin condition!

    by heidi1439 posted at 1:05 PM on Dec. 18 , 2010

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    Name Brand vs. Generic Cold Medicines

    by heidi1439 posted at 10:22 AM on Sep. 10 , 2010

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    0 Comments

    Modern Hygiene: Are We Too Clean for Our Own Good?

    by heidi1439 posted at 10:21 AM on Sep. 10 , 2010

    177 Views
    1 Comments
  • To My Child

    Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
    Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

    Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

    Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

    Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..

    Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

    Just for! this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

    Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

    Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..

    Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

    Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

    Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

    Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

    Just for this evening when I run my ! finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given..

    I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

    And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day..............

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  • I Am Autism

    Hello. Allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is Autism. Perhaps you know me or know of me. I am a condition, a "disorder" that affects many people.
     I strike at will, when and where I want. Many people may not even know that I am there. They blame the child for what I cause him or her to do.

    I am Autism. I strike rich and poor alike. The rich combat me with education and therapy. The poor shut their children away and cannot afford to fight me.
     
    I am Autism and I am strong and getting stronger every year, every month, every day, every minute, and every second. I am concerned that money might
     be alloted to combat me and my takeover of children, but so far I have little to fear. Some countries, like Kuwait, are spending quite a bit of money to assist
     those who I have targeted and some, like the United States, would rather spend money on such ludicrous things as discovering the number of American Indians
    who practice voodoo, as opposed to combating me. In an atmosphere as that, I can flourish and wreck havoc at will.

    I am Autism. When I come, I come to stay. I take the dreams and hopes of every parent and trample them with glee. I see the fear and confusion in the
    eyes of my victims and I see the formation of wrinkles, worries and ulcers and the pain on the face of their parents.I see tears and the parents cry and feel the tears of their child.
    I am Autism. I leave sorrow in my wake.

    I am Autism. I taketh and give nothing but bewilderment and loathing in return. I take speech and learning, I take socialization and understanding. I take
     away "common sense" and if I am allowed to flourish, I take away all but their physical life.

    I am Autism. I fear nothing except courage, which I thankfully see little of. I fear those who take a stand against me and attempt to fight me and bring others into
    the fight as well. I fear those who try to make it safe and easier for my victims in the community, and their families. I fear those who push ahead, despite the fact that
     I am in tow. I fear the day that I will be eradicated from the planet. Yet, I do not fear too much right now. There is no need.

    I am Autism and I bet you know me or know of me. If you don't, you will soon. I am growing faster than I ever have before. I dread the day I will be looked on with pity, or worse yet, understanding, for that day, is the day I will begin to die. But, I don't think that will happen for a long long time. In the meantime, I look to cause pain and suffering wherever I go.

     I have so much work to do and thankfully, no one is stopping me.

    Back in 2001, the Centers for Disease Control funded a study to determine the prevalence of autism in the United States. The study examined only a handful of counties in only 12 states (Minnesota wasn't one of them). The statistic that investigators came up with—one child in every 150 births will be diagnosed with autism—still remains the most commonly cited number for autism prevalence.
    Minnesota has the highest rate of autism in the United States. Twice the national average.
    1 in 81 children in Minnesota will be autistic.
    One of them is Mine.



  • i am..

     

    I am the parent of a child that was born healthy. i am the parent that saw my child make their first of many milestones. I am the parent that watched my child vanish into their own world, right before my eyes. I am the parent that was lead by mainstream medicine to vaccinate my child on the premise that i was doing what was right for her. I am the parent that asked questions like, "Should you vaccinate my sick child?" I am the parent that was coerced into vaccinating my child under false pretenses that I did not know, at that time. I am the parent that was mislead by the same mainstream medical profession that took an oath, "To do no harm." I am the parent that has spent countless nights crying, praying and researching everything out there on the internet known to man about the cause, cures and everything in between regarding autism. I am the parent who will NEVER give up hoping. I am the parent that is now cautious when it comes to mainstream medical doctors. I am the parent who, now, questions authority, no matter how dumb the questions may seem. I am the parent, like so many more, that is overwhelmed by with the daily stress that autism brings. I am the parent that feels so isolated because previous friends and family just dont "get it" I am the parent who is mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted beyond anyones wildest dreams. I am the parent that has become stronger and more vigilant in my quest for answers. I am the parent who demands respect when it comes to my child with autism and her needs. I am the parent who runs on empty. I am the parent who weeps for so many like me. I am the parent of a beautiful child with autism but autism is just their diagnosis. I am the parent who is going to try like hell to recover my child against all odds. autism is treatable and recovery is possible. never give up hope!

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    Click here to join CafeMom today.

    CherryAddict wrote at 9:19 PM on Nov. 18 , 2012

    CherryAddict

    ☆Whether it's Your Religion or Sexuality☆

    ★If You are Tattooed or Pierced★

    ☆If It Sets You Apart from the Rest☆

    ★Join Us!★

    ☆The Alternative Mom's☆

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    hugss wrote at 4:10 PM on Sep. 7 , 2012

    hugss

    We're celebrating!
    Please join us & say Happy Birthday :)
    http://www.cafemom.com/group/115435/forums/read/17250860/Happy_Birthday

    hugss wrote at 7:30 PM on Aug. 24 , 2012

    hugss

    Hope to see you in the Time Out for You group real soon :)
    http://www.cafemom.com/group/115435

    hugss wrote at 7:24 PM on Aug. 15 , 2012

    hugss

    Just taking time to stop by and say Hello! Take some Time out for you and stop by and tell us how your doing or what you've been up to or please stop by and check in :)

    http://www.cafemom.com/group/115435

    tvschiulaz wrote at 10:16 PM on May. 11 , 2012

    tvschiulaz

    Hi: I am stopping by to let you know that Graphic Love is having a Mother's Day Tea Party on May 13th. Don't forget to stop in. http://www.cafemom.com/group/92088

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