Dear Mr. Potty,

As you are well aware, my son has been attempting to use your assistance for the past two weeks. 

I have concerns that I would like to discuss.

It has come to my attention that you are encouraging him to slam your lid shut, over and over again. Please do not do this. I fear he may harm his winkie - I've heard this can happen.  While your at it, please don't continue to tell him it's o.k. to flush as many times as he can, before I yell, "Hey!  Knock it off, mister!" That's right, I'm on to you. 

No more finger-dipping, hand-splashing, yook-a-me-I-swimming! If these antics continue, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands.  And I think you know what I mean.  The overuse of cleaning chemicals can be harmful to certain types of surfaces, like porcelain for example. It's true. I looked it up on the internet. It sure would be unfortunate if you found yourself in that situation, don't you think?  Perhaps your cooperation might be effective in avoiding that unnessesary action.

So, seeing that we've come to an "understanding", I trust I will not:

1) Find Happy Meal toys at the bottom of your bowl
2) Hear water splash onto the bathroom floor
3) Stumble over squishy wads of soaked toilet paper in the middle of the night
4) Discover your handle in the bottom dresser drawer

Sincerely,
Johnny's Mom

Tags: funny, potty training

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