Sometimes I just wish...

[p3rdone]

I'm a young mom to a little boy who just turned one. I will say that my son was an oopsie. But I still love him more than my own life. He's smart, sweet, he's got a great sense of humor... and so handsome... he's one of those angel babies that is always happy, we rarely ever have problems with him.

But sometimes.. sometimes he'll get really difficult and the depression I fought so hard before just comes flooding back, every time. It really beats me down, you know? It's not like I have to deal with his tantrums every day, I realize that I'm blessed to have such a happy child, but I can never ever shake this terrible feeling I get inside, this dread, the regret of ever having a baby... Sometimes I think I'm the only mother sick enough to feel this way. I'm always so mad at myself for falling back into this depression because I should be stronger than this, and he's really not all that bad a baby. I don't know what's wrong with me.

 

And all I want is for my husband to just hold me and tell me that I'm not sick, or crazy, or stupid or anything, but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that when my son gets like this, it hurts me so much and there are times when I think things would be so much easier if I just died. He just doesn't get it. So he goes on and thinks nothing is wrong and I keep my feelings inside like always, until I blow up at someone or something. It's like, even reading back on this journal post I think it's such a stupid post, why in the world am I crying? Why in God's name would anyone think this is an actual problem? There are so many worse things than having a baby who occasionally throws a tantrum. It's so stupid.

 

I just needed to say something, to someone, anywhere. I guess. Just to know someone cares.
 

[momiangeleyes]

May. 20, 2008 at 11:30 PM You know girl, children go through tantrums, through alot of things that us as parents sometimes we sit there and say, how can I find the patience for this'? But there is a BIG reason why you have this beautiful angel, things happen for a reason, Look at it in the positive side, when you need someone to love you, make you smile and make you as a human being feel special your child's smiles, accomplishments and his presence is all its going to take. Talk to your husband and let him know what's up, but never show your emotions to your child. Good luck!!

[Krystal.Ingalls]

May. 20, 2008 at 11:34 PM Trust me...you aren't the only one that feels like this!  My son is 6 months old and the past few nights have been horrible!  He's teething and he will not sleep all night like he did before...in fact he's in ny lap right now b/c i don't know what else to do with him.   I feel as if I'm loosing my mind!  I'm so depessed and tired...I just wanna slap my hubby silly...he's in bed asleep b/c he has to work in the morning >.<   If you ever need a friend send me a message :)