Change that stinking thinking!

[margaretandem]

We have so much negative, automatic, distorted, unhealthy thinking going on within us that it can sometimes be so overwhelming to think of changing.  Let's face it, being negative and unhealthy takes no effort whatsoever.  It's being positive and healthy that takes a ton of energy and work.  So, what negative thinking do you have?  All-or-nothing?  Do you overgeneralize?  Dwell on the negatives?  Insist that the positives are minor, a fluke, or don't really count?  Jump to conclusions?  Minimize?  Magnify?  Live by "shoulds" (I should be this way, he should be that way, etc.)?  Label yourself as completely negative?  Focus on blame of yourself or someone else?  Filter things through your own narrow view?  Read minds (incorrectly)?  Make (wrong) assumptions?  Predic that everything will turn out badly?  Read everything that happens as a reflection on you personally?  Expect the worst?  Feel that your life events are totally controlled by an outside force?  Feel that you are responsible for everything (bad or good) that happens in the world?  Believe that your negative beliefs about yourself always reflect reality, even if you are wrong?  Assume that other people will change into what you want if you pressure them enough?  Continually need to justify your point of view or behavior when you're wrong?  Play the martyr?  These are indeed hard questions to ask of ourselves.

Here are some tips to change negative, distoted thinking (summarized from The Depression Workbook: A Guide for Living with Depression and Manic Depression by Mary Ellen Copeland).
-identify your emotion
describe the situation that gave rise to your emotion
-identify the distorted thought process
-combat the distorted thought process with something real or positive
-use thought stopping (dwell on the thought, interrupt the thought by yelling Stop or doing something to bring you out of the thought process, then replace with a positive thought)
-use positive affirmations

Other ways to change your thinking (from Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David Burns)
-do a cost-benefits analysis - how will it help you and how will it hurt you to think the way that you are thinking
-examine the evidence - what proof is there that thought is true or not
-survey others to find out their views about your thought patterns

Let me know what you think about all of this.  Take care and be well.

Margaret Andem, LCSW
http://www.andemtherapy.com
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