I wrote this in a reply to a bunch of people looking at abortion as a black & white issue.

Where I stand: pro-choice.  I have my own very long list of reasons for believing the way I do.  It does not make me immoral or unChristian, just different than someone else.  I am not posting this as a debate - AT ALL and will accept NO DRAMA.  What is right for you, may not be right for me?  I am not at all in favor of using it at birth control, that choice should be made before intercourse, not after.  

However, the question that was posed, is what do you think about abortion if the pregnancy is a result of rape?

This is just to give you something to think about.  I will NOT respond to snarky, snide, mean, rude, bashful comments made by closed minded hurtful people.  While I totally agree that people are entitled to their opinion - this is mine.  You are welcome to disagree, I read everything people write, but I will not tolerate belittlement to me or others, so I will delete your comment if it's in anyway judgemental or cruel.  You have been warned.  (By the way, I have never done that to anyone before).

I do not need for anyone to give their answers to any of the questions that I have posed.  Your feelings are none of my business, and I am not asking to get your answers.  I simply and only want for you to see things in from a different perspective, that nothing in life is black and white, there is gray in everything.

Here are some questions:

If you were raped.  You say that you would keep the baby and no ill feelings.

How do you know?
How do explain the situation to your friends and family?  Possibly your other children?
Do you hole yourself up in the house and hide?  Or do you go on through your life as normal?
Do you go to work?  The market?  The mall?
What do you do when someone says"Congratulations" to you?  "When are you due?"   "Arent' you excited?"
If you are single and your friends knew that you weren't dating anyone, what do you say when asked who the father is?  Do you say, "Oh, it's the guy that I had a date with that raped me?"  "Oh, it's the random, sex offender who stalked me down the street and attacked me?"  "It's the man that I am pressing charges against in county lockup?"  "It's a random stranger that the police haven't found yet?"
And can you with out a doubt know that you will love that child with no malice or animosity?  What if the child grows up with severe problems or has an unknown family history? 

Or if you are married, what do you and your husband say, "Wow, we couldn't be prouder?"  "Looking forward to November!" 

How do you explain the baby not looking like the father to people who say, "Who does he look like?  He doesn't look like _____ (Frank, Phil, Bob, Joe, etc.)"

What if your DH is not on board at all, and you lose him over it?

Or if you decide not to keep it and give it up for adoption, how do explain that?  "When are you due?"  "Weren't you pregnant?" 
How do you explain it to your children now?  Or your family?
Or what if you run into someone a year later, "How is your baby?"  You say, "Oh, you mean my rapist's baby, that I gave up for adoption?"

Are all of you willing to adopt?  Would you adopt a baby if the mother told you, "I don't know who the father is, I was raped one night at a party."  "Or, I know who raped me, his medical history is in jail with the felon?"

People who adopt want medical history, young mothers, healthy fathers.  VERY VERY VERY few people are willing to take on the burden of adoption when it's a special needs child, or the product of a crime.

However, what you say NOW, when you have never been put in the position is completely different than what would really happen, when a gun is put to your head and you are forced to do something that should only come out of love.  Or when you have been drugged up and don't remember anything, or when you are too drunk and no doesn't mean no, or when you are brutally attacked in the back of a car on your way out of a mall.

It's easy to sit at a computer in your house with your ideals, you truly have no idea what you would if it really came to that. (Other than a few of you, who were/are rape victims and made that decision).

It's easy for you to say, I would and YOU SHOULD __________ (fill in the blank).  But, you never know.  You do not know the amount of pain, nightmares (real and imagined), fear, stress, turmoil, etc. that this crime does to people.

You do not know!

And seriously, if I told you I was pregnant right now with my rapist's baby, would you be willing to adopt it?  Would you?  I highly doubt it.  Maybe half a percent of the human population would take on that challenge.

I do not need anyone to answer these questions at all, I am just asking that you for one minute think about these are just some of the questions that a raped woman has to deal with.  And it's easy to say I would I would I would... but until you are faced with it, you never know, and you never have the right to judge the decision that a woman makes when she is placed into such a dire position.

Because the choice that is right for you is not the choice that is right for another.

Tags: views, journals, abortion, birth, adoption, rape, different, life, death, husband, family, friends, baby, babies, children, medical

Everyone can see this journal post.

Add A Comment