So i think i've made up my mind

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So i think i've made up my mind

May 26, 2008 at 7:41 PM by CherryP
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Well a couple days ago(Friday night) my bf found out i was talking on the phone wit sumone else(another guy). And the only reason he found out was cuz of my fuckin bitchass brother. anyways whatevr i started talkin on the phone and stuff because im not happy wit my bf no more i mean we've been together since i was 13 n im now 20 but i mean the only reason i honestly think y we're only together cuz we got kids cuz i know if we didnt have kids i wouldnt have been wit him this long. But i was hella thinkin today, shit im not happy y stick around n its not that i wana be wit sumone else i just want my life back n here wit him i dont feel like i have a life, i dnt have a job, i dnt go to school, i dnt have a car nuthin. When i need to go sumwhere i have to ask him for his car n i recently just got my cell turned back on cuz he didnt want me to turn it on he just wanted me to use his, n i dnt have a job cuz i have to work around his schedual he leaves the house by 7:30 or 8 am n doesnt get home til 8pm sumtimes not til after 9pm. So wit that type of work i cant go to school or work cuz of the girls, first of all i have no car to drive to school or work n then all my fam lives about 2hrs away n i will nevr leave my kids at a day care or wit no one i know (i see to many fucked up ppl as baby sitters on tv n stuff) So neway this other guy im talkin to just give's me sumthin to look forward to the next day i mean yea its wrong cuz when i close my eyes i think of him, when i go to sleep he's the last thing on my mind (even right now he's on my mind). Well ne-way i care about my kids father i do love him but more like a really good friend not in a boyfriend girlfriend type a way. Now i really think i wana move out but i hate seein him so hurt i dont regret talkin on the fone wit sumone else i just wish he nevr would have found out. Now that i wana move out tho i just feel so bad leaving him here alone wit no one. i dnt know what to do should i leave or stay?

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