liar liar, pants on fire

[MoonlightMommy]

So it's an ethical question.  This weekend we were driving in Arizona and hubby (who is driving) makes an illegal U-turn in the middle of a highway.  In FRONT of a state trooper.  Of course, he got pulled over.   Before he pulled the U-ey, we had been talking about how he had turned onto the wrong on-ramp and trying to figure out how to turn around.  He made the U-turn before I could tell him not to, since I saw the trooper behind us.

 So the trooper comes up to the side of the car and my husband tells him this drawn out story about how we are just visiting the area (we have Nevada plates and Nevada drivers licenses) and asked the trooper for directions.  The trooper lets us off with a warning and gave him directions to Best Buy in the next town over.    My problem with this whole scenario is 1) we weren't lost; 2) we weren't going to Best Buy and 3) our 5 year old son was in the back seat watching the whole thing and HE had gotten in trouble at school for telling a "fib" the day before.  

Personally, I think my husband should apologize to my son and talk with him about how lying is bad, but he will never agree to this because he doesn't think what he did was lying or wrong.  What should I do? 

 

 

 

[momjoy1027]

May. 27, 2008 at 10:15 PM You are totally right about this....not sure what to tell you to do, unless you talk to your son yourself....tho it would sound better coming from your husband. Good luck.

[DivaMomCC]

May. 27, 2008 at 10:17 PM

Discuss it with your hubby anyway.  Point out that eventually your son will call him on that kind of behavior when he gets in trouble.  It is VERY difficult to enforce rules with your children when you don't model the behavior you expect, and 'do as I say, not as I do' is a really quick way to erode their respect for your parental authority.  Perhaps not an issue at the age of five, but definitely something to be concerned about down the road.  (Feel free to point all of this out to your DH.) 

If your son asks YOU about the incident, be honest with him.  "Dad's don't always make the best choices, but the best thing we can do is learn from others' mistakes and not make the same ones." was almost a mantra in my home for awhile.  Until their father shaped up.  LOL 

Best of luck to you. 

[LauraKW]

May. 27, 2008 at 10:50 PM

Hubby is in the wrong, but good luck getting him to admit it (if he is anything like my hubby).  I would still explain things to your little guy, and if he wants to know why daddy told a fib, he should ask daddy.  But I would try to make sure you are there when he asks so hubby doesn't try to spin that one as well.  Good luck :).

[debra_benge]

May. 27, 2008 at 10:59 PM

I'd have hubby talk to him, too.

Where in AZ are you coming to?

[Nehemiahsmom]

May. 28, 2008 at 9:49 AM i agree- maybe once things have cooled down you can talk to your hubby about it with out the little there- so if it goes in the wrong direction you wont have to worry about him seeing u guys argue.  good luck, if not you can talk to your son by your self about why you should not lie

[brandymady]

May. 30, 2008 at 12:18 PM I agree, kids learn by their parents behavior.  Dad seems to be taking a "do as I say not as I do" attitude.  If you cant get him to set down and explain maybe you should not put him down but explain to Andrew that dad made a mistake and you should not lie to get out of a wrong doing.  There are consequences to all actions bad or good.  Maybe dad could use a talking too as well. LOL  Good Luck.

[diamonddiva2008]

May. 30, 2008 at 10:24 PM

I know we all have told a tale or too, to protect us from stuff or  to get out of stuff.   But yes we need to set examples for children,  But kids are people too and there will come a time when your child will decide to tell the truth or not.  It is one of those judgement calls.  I think your child will understand the reality of life sooner than you think.  But pointing the finger at your husband will not resolve any issues.  I think you need to leave well enough alone.  And just start practicing what you preach.  Move on because tomorrow is another day.