He's Ethan, that's what's wrong with him...and I'm his mom that's what's wrong with me.

[mommymarine26]

Warning: I'm a Christian, so if you're offended by Christianity, don't read any further. I'm also a human being, which means I'm not perfect. I sin, I screw up, I drive a little too fast, drop the occasional bad word, and I checked out the mailman's butt. So furthermore, if you're a person who is offended by a Christian who is not afraid to admit that they aren't a poster child for Christianity, don't read any further. I'm also a parent of 2 amazing children, one who is considered medically and developmentally normal and one who is Autistic. So if you're a person who is offended by a mother who would go through hell and back to defend her children and wont stop at anything to make sure that they have every opportunity to succeed in life no matter what the cost...well you should have stopped reading at the title.  If you're ever planning on eating again...well have a cookie cause it's good for the soul. ha ha. But if you're like me...a mom, hey I warned you.

So I'm not usually one to complain about other people. I try really hard to take other people's personalities and lifestyles into consdieration. Not everyone will have the same idea of what a bad day is or a life trial. However, you would hope that people would have some consideration and possibly empathy if anything for other's situations before opening their mouths...not so.

I've griped before about my MIL not being about to keep her yap shut when in comes to unsolicited advice and doing things behind my back without asking me how I felt about it, something that I have always given to her, especially when it comes to children. I have a 5 year old sister in law and 2 year old brother in law. I always ask her permission before I do things with them. She however, doesn't feel that it's necessary to extend me the same courtesy. I sense that this is a normal occurance among MIL's. I vow that I will not do that to my children's spouses when that day comes, and you can hold me to that. But my own mother has done some of the same things to me which really hurt.

Here's my sort of recent dilema. It really....well sucks when you have a child with special needs and my heart goes out to moms and dads in more serious situations than mine, people stare, ask really rude questions like "why isn't he potty trained yet?" or the idiot bagger in the Commissary who said something really crappy right in front of me when my son was having a melt-down in the check out line. "Why can't she make him shut up?" You have no idea how much restraint it took to not knock him into the middle of next Thursday. I wanted to scream, cry, and well throw things all at the same time. How dare he? I mean even if Ethan wasn't Autistic...how rude.

I had an acquantence start complaining about wishing she had "a normal healthy child." I really wanted to ask her what the problem was, but I didn't. Her daughter has had 2 minor ear infections and all of a sudden she's sickly and abnormal??? I thought maybe this is the worst she feels that she deals with.

I wish I could be more sympathetic, but I can't communicate with my son most of the time. He doesn't understand. I have never once asked God why Ethan is this way. I have never once complained that he is abnormal or wished for him to be normal. It's not that I don't wish that things weren't as difficult. But this is the way that God made Ethan. What is the sense in wishing he was something that he's not?? I don't mean to preach or push my beliefs, this is just how I feel but, if we do that, aren't we essentially diminshing God's creation? He is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Sure, it's hard to understand him, but he makes perfect sense to me and to God's ears, he is the world's greatest orator hands down. Just like the child with a cleft lip or a hemagioma which covers the entire face is the most beautiful child in the world to God. So shouldn't we be able to do this to. To listen with our hearts rather than our misunderstanding. To see with our soul rather than picking apart everything we see wrong with others?

I am thankful for all 4 miscarriages, it made me grateful for how delicate and difficult of a process it really is to get and stay pregnant. I am grateful for all the stretch marks I have even though my stomach resembles a Zebra's butt and a Bikini will never be on this body, it made me realize how beautiful it is to be a mom. Yeah, that was kind of contradictory. I'm grateful for having been deployed to Iraq when Ethan was an infant. It made me realize how grateful I am to live in this country and have the freedom and safety and resources that I do, for the clean house I have and the money to buy food and clothing and a myriad of other things. I'm grateful for every challenge I have had on the way to being a mom. I don't think I would appreciate my children as much as I do.

I just wish people would think before they open their mouths. But that is something I will have to continue to deal with. All I have to say is thank God for true friends who stick with you through all of the crap, all the stupid emails from people who have all this freaking advice to give. Newsflash, ever since he was 16 months old and still not walking, I was reading every article I could...back off. Don't yell at my child for crying, don't look at him funny for babbling, don't judge him for not being potty trained. DON'T ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong. He's Ethan, that's what's RIGHT with him, and I'm his mom that's what's wrong with me.

[Val504]

May. 28, 2008 at 6:59 PM Wonderfully said,God knows who to place his most precious babies to,I am also a christian,but sometimes,I could knock the crap,right out of some people.I just think people that say stupid things about children,without knowing,or knowing what their situation is,They just show how immature they really are,you keep enjoying Ethan,God give you a beautiful liitle boy to be proud of.God Bless you and you family

[singedwingangel]

May. 28, 2008 at 7:01 PM BEautiful and well spoken. Ethan is a very lucky little man to have YOU as his mommy and I would have complained to the manager on the bagboy at the commisary sorry rude is rude and you cannot be rude when dealing with the public if thsat is how you feel find a job in a corner, of course withhis brains apparently he could not do that either so we got blessed with dum dums personalilty and charm YAY(sarcasm inserted here , HEAVY sarcasm). You keep on doing what you do and let God handle the rest, He will sort them out better then we can and when we all get to heaven and children lilke Ethan can approach God as they do here on earth wihtout fear or remorse many of us will wish we had beeen more like Ethan..

[trisha08]

May. 28, 2008 at 7:10 PM HI I kinda know what you mean, I have a 5 year ild boy who has Glycerol Kinase Deficiency.
He just started to talk well meaning people other then his family can understand what he is saying. He is behind in alot he is just now potty trained he has behavior problems and you can't communicate with him when he is upset he just throws things and most of the time it is out of the blue. A couple of weeks ago we were eating lunch at KFC and my husband got up to go get the drinks and cole got upset and started screaming WEll the old bitch turned to me and said CAN:T YOU CONTROL YOUR SON!! I wanted to go over there and punch her in the face.
I told her to mind her own f###ing business! I tell you half these people don;t know what we have to go through everyday. But you know what Cole is the most loving little boy and he is perfect to me.