I miss my hometown, and todays journal theme just reminds me...

[nattabugsmommy]

Today's journal theme is "Do you still live in the same city/town that you grew up in?  If not, would you ever move back there?

My hometown will always be home, and I'm a long way from home right now.  I was born in Jacksonville, Florida, and I lived there until I was 18.  When I married my husband we moved to Charleston, SC and we lived there for 2 and 1/2 years.  I loved it there, and I will always love it there, and it was home in a way, but I had to drive the 4 hours down I-95 from Charleston to Jacksonville to really feel like I was at home.  Every time I made that trip home I would cross the Georgia/Florida line and feel a sense of relief wash over me.  It meant that I was almost home.

I'm in West Texas now.  It's a two or three day drive to Florida from here.  I've only been home once since we moved here last September, and every holiday I miss, or every family birthday I don't get to be there for breaks my heart.

Maybe it's the people I'm missing more then the place.  My family is home to me, I'm very close with them.  My baby brother turned 11 last month, and I was to far away to hug him.  My Mom and Daddy's 23rd anniversary came and went, and I could only send my love in a cardboard box in the mail.  My Aunt Carolyn is having serious medical issues and they don't know how long she has, and I can only steer at pictures with tears in my eyes.  My Aunt Linda had a heartache a few moths ago, and I could only sit quietly by the phone waiting for it to ring and someone tell me it was all ok.  My little cousin graduated high school last week and will soon be on her way to college, and even though she stood by my side as my maid of honor at my wedding, I couldn't be there to stand by her side on one of the most important days of her life.  It's not just the big things though, there are so many little things too!  My baby brother got all A's on his report card, and I'm not there to give him a big hug and tell him how proud I am at all he has overcome to get here.  My mom had a bad day last week and she cried on the phone with me, and I couldn't do anything to comfort her.  My Dad's business is taking off, and I was always the one to keep the books and do the billing.  My cousins baby girl turned 1, and his oldest is about to turn 3, and I'm missing the parties, and missing them grow up.  My best friend was living with her boy friend for a year and I never even got to meet him before they broke up.

Not to mention, my family is missing out on my children.  Stephen just turned 7, and he's gotten so big.  Natalie will be 2 in a matter of months, and she learns new words every day.  My family still knows her as the little baby who was barely a year old and so tiny she could still wear 3-6 month clothes, not the big toddler she has become who is more independent and head strong, and absolutely beautiful then I would ever have imagined. 

We hope to move back there soon... even my husband who grew up here in Texas misses Florida and the family we have there.  I can't wait to get to home, and stay there with the people who love us permanently. 

[MomOfAiden]

May. 29, 2008 at 4:24 PM I feel the same sense of relief when I cross over into Maine.  It's like you can breath easier knowing you are home.  Don't you just love that feeling?  We're currently living with my MIL in Mass.  Both DH and I want to move up to Maine (which is where I was born and raised) but circumstances are making it very difficult to do so. Do you also get a small sense of dread as you leave the state?  I know I do.  I think it is because I am so uncomfortable here in Mass.

[jchelle309]

May. 29, 2008 at 8:41 PM Well even if you eventually leave our little Texas town we will still think of you as family.

[mvanlue]

Jul. 12, 2008 at 11:47 PM Some people don't have such close families. You are blessed!! I hate missing people,though. It's my least favorite feeling. I'm sorry! I hope you can go home soon. I also hope you are able to make such a place for your own little ones!!

[KiKi33]

Jul. 16, 2008 at 10:57 PM wow, i guess i can relate...i am from Elizabeth City, NC and i enjoy going home to visit my mom and family but i am always ready to leave because its a small town and being in the military i have been exposed to bigger and better..i just got stationed in Fl and i hate it because i dont' know anyone and have no family or friends here...single mom of 3 children and now i am a little homesick but for Maryland where i was stationed for almost 9 yrs. at least you are able to keep in touch although not physically...family will always be in your heart and that's where it counts...i know i can call my best friend and cry my eyes out and its just like she's here...then God is showing me to be close to Him and maybe this is just another chapter in my life that I determine how it will go...you are blessed to have family and friends and your beautiful children...maybe you can start a scrapbook and put it on line for your family to see your children grow up...you sound like a terrific person and i am proud of yo...keep your head up, mama! :)