Real Friends

[Anna_2250]

What does it mean to be a real friend? 

 I think sometimes we are hurt by our friends when they are trying to save us from ourselves.  The words they say might not be what we were expecting.  We were expecting a pat on the back and a cookie, but instead they give it to us straight.  Does this make them less of a friend?

No.

It makes them MORE of a friend.  Sometimes in friendship there are tough spots to get through with others, and sometimes with eachother.  I think a real friend knows when to agree with you and when to say "well, you might be wrong in this one."  That is definately hard to hear.  They are your friend, your amigo, your pal.  They should be standing by you. 

Ahhh, but to never tell you the truth would also be selfish. 

A real friend will put the interests of your wellbeing and happiness above the relationship.  Just as any husband or wife should if they truly care about the other person. 

So if you have yourself in a situation that they don't think is the right thing to do, and it might hurt you more in the long run, they should say that.  I'll give you a real life example.

 A friend of mine was thinking about leaving her husband, because she was infatuated with her coworker and golfing buddy.  They spent a lot of time together having fun, drinking, and eventually ended up kissing.  They were both married.  My friend had been married for 8 yrs.  She is approaching 30.  So I said to myself, well this guy is more of a symptom than the problem.  So I tried to remind her that she is married to a wonderful guy, who thinks the world of her, and does everything possible to let her know that.  I could have not said anything, but I didn't feel it was right.  I felt like she would be selling herself short.

A good friend sometimes has to point out the problems in your master plan.  A good friend wants to see the outcome be the best for you, but sometimes knows the best way isn't always the easiest.  Sometimes a good friend has to give tough love.

[belladonna777]

May. 30, 2008 at 12:35 PM And thank goodness for that Anna.  Tough love is what friendship is all about.  Fairweather friends are the ones that will say "You are right, go ahead" But don't expect them to be there when the shit hits the fan ya know.  I would much rather have you hurt me with honesty than butter my cupcake lol

[my4pinkroses]

May. 30, 2008 at 12:35 PM i completely agree with you,, I am one of those real friends,, I will tell my friends the truth weither they want to hear it or not,, but that does mean most get mad .. I say see ya later then..I dont want a real friend to lie to me as I would not lie to them..

[tericared]

May. 30, 2008 at 12:55 PM Great post...I think one of the reason I have only one true friend is because most people wont tell you what is best, but what you want to hear.

[onezenmom]

May. 30, 2008 at 2:07 PM Great post. *Hugs*

[annebeckett]

May. 30, 2008 at 2:09 PM Excellent point!  I hope your firend appreciated your honesty-  we all DO want the best for our friends and, sometimes, giving that is difficult AND can put a strain on the friendship.  Being there after your friend thinks it over and works it through (whatever the outcome) is a test of true friendship, too.

[sweetlife654]

May. 30, 2008 at 2:16 PM A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil..the Ironic thing...My "Best friend was my EX's mistress"...

I sure hope your friend can accept your honesty....

[sgr123]

May. 30, 2008 at 6:29 PM Wonderful journal, Anna.  I would much rather a friend be straight with me.

[mizkaye]

May. 30, 2008 at 8:32 PM You so smart! 

[hautemama4]

May. 30, 2008 at 9:49 PM I love how insightful your journals are :)  You've always been there for me as a REAL friend, and I love you for that. Thank you for always being by my side through the thick and thin of the years. You're the best! In fact, your "an amazing!"

[findingharmony]

May. 31, 2008 at 4:34 PM So very true!