Question: So was I wrong or was I right?


In the wrong, her house her rules

In the right, your their mother

No one was wrong or right, just too much stress to deal with

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Tell me, when is it enough. My brother in law was evicted from my old apartment oct 2006, well because he had his girlfriend and her 13 year old daughter living with him, I told them they could stay with us until they could get back on their feet. Well three months after they moved in He finally went and got a job making 15.56 an hour working 10-12 hours a day 4-5 days a week. I told them if they were going to continue living with me something was going to have to change. At that time my husband was in school in a different city and I was working 50-60 hours a week, and they were sitting in my house all day and all night doing nothing. According to them watching my oldest two daughters should of been payment enough for them to live with me. Ok I could understand for the girlfriend that was suffiecient, but i was paying for all the food and the rent ($900 a month) light bill water bill cable bill phone bill car payment car insurance gas cigarettes, you name it I was paying for all of it. Mind you I live in a 4 bed 2 bath house so nothing was cheap, on top of feeding four adults, one teenager, and two toddlers. Well when it was time for them to start paying me 400 a month in rent, they decide they are gonna move out and get their own place because according to them I was taking advantage of them. Well they did just that they moved out last year in april got them their own place and guess what happened? They got evicted again in december, this time they moved in with my mother in law, except this time the girlfriend had anothe rone of her daughters come live with them also. so they have been in my mother in law's house for five months now, not paying anything, not finding jobs, and once again they think my mother in law is taking advantage of them because she expects them to help keep the house clean. Onto the fight.....

We all decided to go to her house and bar b que because my husband and father in law will be leaving to do a load to florida, well the kitchen was full of dirty dishes, not even one clean fork or spoon, my mother in law got upset because she has her own health issues, diabetes, thyroid cancer, stage 2 on her kidneys, and many other things. And my brother in law and his girlfriend were on the PC playing games and on the phone texting to their friends.  So she starts yelling and screaming, well next thing i know my father in law is getting into it with them, and he just had a mild stroke a year ago and has been diagnosed with severe high blood pressure asmatha and diabetic. well then my kids start crying because their papo is fighting with their uncle and their daddy is in the middle trying to stop his dad and get him outside. next thing i know fists start flying, and my girls really start freaking out, while they are getting into it my MIL is getting into with my BIL's girlfriend, and here I am trying to calm my oldest two down, was in the middle of breastfeeding my 7 month old.  I get my girls outside, put the baby in her carseat. and yell at all of them telling them that if they cannot act like adults and knock it off at least for their grandchildren that we are leaving. My FIL comes outside still ranting and raving, and all I could say to him is they did the exact same thing to me and my husband. Well my oldest ( 4 years old) went back inside to go to the bathroom and get something to drink and next thing I know my MIL is yelling at my daughter to get stuff picked up. I told my MIL that she is only inside to get something to drink and use the restroom and then she is coming back outside.

 Now here is my question and I hope someone can tell me if I am wrong or right for what occured after this----

My MIL tells me no she needs to do what I tell her to do- I told my MIL no I am her mother and I do not want her inside around all that yelling screaming and cursing. Well the rest of the evening my MIL had nothing to say to me.



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Jun. 1, 2008 at 2:28 AM

You were in the right hon. Those are Your children, and although she is their grandmother, she had No business yelling at your daughter. I would stay far away from that whole scenario and those people, because all that's going to do is frustrate you and upset your children, which in turn is going to cause you to go off.

You are the mother, the Parent that Jesus gave those babies to, for you to raise them up right, and having them around that mess is going to be disastrous for all of you. If your Mother-in-law is going to act in such a way that she is doing this to you and your children, I would make it very clear, that although you love her, there is no way you or your children will be going back over there if there is the slightest chance of that going on again.

And then stick to what you say. Hon, children do Not need to be around that type of dysfunctional relationships. Your brother-in-law and his girlfriend and her kids are no longer your problem hon. You need to focus on your wonderful relationship with your children and your Husband.

My thoughts and prayers are with you for peace to be returned to this family.

Jesus bless you hon and know that you did the right thing. 

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 2:56 AM You're in the right. Your mother in law is not in charge of them, she shouldn't want them near the fighting, and if your daughter didn't make the mess, why should she have to clean it up? I think your BIL and his girlfriend should be out on the street, they obviously don't want to work or be responsible adults. I feel bad for her daughter though, with that for an example. Hope things work out, have a good day.

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