I was so excited to join cafe mom. I really was. and before my rant begins I have to say that I have met A FEW nice girls and have had the opportunity to meets some women in my community, all of that is great, just not what I was really expecting. So now I really begin...

Here's my problem with this site. I thought ( and this is completely my fault) that this would be a great place to meet other mom's, to get advice, to hear about choices that other parents make, to spend some Internet time with women who share my interests, lifestyle and my stage of life.

Uh, not so much. I have no issue with hearing other peoples' opinions (not to say I agree or even respect their opinions, but I can listen and accept that they are entitled to them no matter how ignorant I find them), but come on 80% of the time the post that people are raving their opinions on are post where the author just wanted to vent and have a friendly ear to listen too her. The post in which mom's are asking for actual advice are usually skipped right over, with maybe one or two replies. Why do people insist on berating these girls, putting them down, making fun of them, and treating them like shit?????

Seriously haven't we all heard about the epidemic of Internet bashing that teen and preteen girls are all caught up in? How can we as adults expect the kids not to behave this way if we are doing the same thing ourselves? Why do women in general insist on putting other women down? It's ridiculous!

It sometimes feels to me, that unless one wants to bash, debate, or prove her supreme ness, they seldom have anything to say (I guess some of us weren't taught the if you don't have anything nice to say keep your damn mouth closed rule). I have had actual parenting questions that I really wanted other mom's input about and could not get a response, but I bet if I posted something about gay marriage and child rearing I could light it up.

Maybe the problem is me, maybe I am just too average. I am not writing husband bashing pieces, cause I love my husband he's a great guy that's why I married him. I am not going to respond negatively to those who do with anything more than an I'm sorry, because I have no idea what it's like to walk a mile in her shoes. I don't write pieces about everyone raising her child the way I do, because what works so well for my family could be crap for yours. Not going to debate same sex, politics, abortion, or the death penalty cause frankly I don't know you well enough and peoples opinions on those subjects aren't going to change by what I say only experience, life and situation changes will do that if anything can (however will argue football with you all day if ya want).

So if I think it's so awful why am I still logging on? Good question. I guess for a couple of reasons, to keep in touch with the nice women I have met, to at least have a place to go where I can attempt to get some help, and because everyday I think today is the day that I decide that I LOVE cafe mom the way everyone else seems to.

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 2:54 AM

yes i totally understand thats why i hardly post any journal posts anymore and keep things to myself, but just know not all mommies on here are like this so dont totally give up on cafemom as it is a great place and i have met some wonderful people on here and some bad but the nice ones are worth the few bad apples...i hope you get a turnaround and get to make some wonderful friends here and find some great information to help you in your life as a mommy


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Jun. 1, 2008 at 2:57 AM I've met some sweet women as well, but sometimes it just feels to me like angry women taking it out on one another!

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 2:58 AM i think after a while you get use to the fact that no matter what that is how this site is,I know what group to go to if i really need advice or anything i have never written a post in this group that has gone unanswered and as far as journals i put em out there and i know for a fact that my true Cafemom friends are gonna put some great comments for me.I guess it is just like life itself ..it is not the quantity but the quality of your friends...good luck to you here on Cafemom...somedays i loooove it and others i hate it but at least it is here for me when i need a little break..goodnight to you

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 3:13 AM

Hon, I'm sorry that there are people on this site, just as in real life, that can not find anything positive to say, or can't even help a person in need.  I have read all sorts of posts or journals if you will, where someone is bashing their husbands or children or families, friends etc.  People thrive off and on the negative things in life and that is indeed very sad for them. All I can say is this, Stick to the posts that someone is asking for help, stay away from those that tend to bring others down and berate them. Pray for everyone because we all need it.  If I see someone is in need, I do my best to encourage them and help them and lift their spirits up.  I do what I can to let others know that they are thought of and loved and blessed.  It only takes a few seconds to make somoene smile and feel good, but not every one cares enough to stop and think, how would it feel to them to have someone make fun of or call names or make them feel badly.  People either just don't think, or they just don't care, and either way, they will be held accountable.

I pray that you will continue to find Women on here that will love you and help you out no matter what you are going through. Just remember...that we are all human and fall short, but that doesn't give any of us the right to bring others down or make them feel worthless.  May you have peace and Joy and happiness with the friends you have found here on this site.

Jesus bless you always hon. 

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 4:32 AM Photobucket
And Rynnn  thats what i do not understand, I have never spoken to you once , but yet on anothers word you block me completely..I am not trying to bash you, but you have not walked in my shoes nor do you really know anything about me..But yet yoou listen to the gossip of others about me...     I will pray that you see the errors of your ways.....  I would have written this to you , but i was blocked before even getting to know you.....

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 10:37 AM you are so right. i had a cafemom at one time and due to all that deleted it but i thought heck i want to meet moms from around the area i live in and nearby so i will just give it one more shot.

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 11:50 PM

Great Post Girl, I hear yeah.   I can't stand drama in my life and stay away from it on Cafemom. 


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Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:37 PM I completely agree with this post.  I have met some great women on Cafemom, but I don't put any posts out there.  It's sometimes hard to read through all the bashing.  We all have our own way of raising our children and that is why we joined this group to get other opinions and help.  So...I'm with you girl! 

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 9:09 PM It is kinda ridiculous when people write posts for advice and they get people fighting over opinions. Ive had that happen before and I was amazed how low people stooped! I guess its just the way the world is.....sad but true...there are nice people amist the shitty ones, you just gotta look harder!

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Jun. 3, 2008 at 9:30 PM great job mama

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