I have sad news. My grandmother passed away last night. My mother said it was peacful. She closed her eyes, went to sleep and didnt wake up. She was old but so strong. She, next to my mother, was one of the strongest women i know. She died of Cancer in her lungs and her throat. She is were ever she needs to be to be happy now. Smoking her cigerattes, and drinking her coffee.



(And I am not doing this for sympathy like I know some are thinking right now. I am letting you guys know this has happened, because if i snap at you or saying something i didnt mean, its because i have alot on my mind.)



I guess it is one more lesson i have to learn. Not everyone is invincible. Even the people in your life that are strongest. I am not quite sure how to take all this anymore. It took me years to let my father's death go. And I finally have. But it seems like now that i let him go, the more the strongest people in my life starts to drop like flies. My Aunt Kay.... My first Boss Alton.... And now my Grandmother..... It took years to let my father go so I can be happy. And now that I know how I handled his death wasnt the way to do it, I just dont know how to handle it anymore...... My husband says there are two ways to I can handle it. I can either let it bother me because I have nothing but memories and i didnt get to say good bye and be sad and depressed. OR I can except the fact that this happens. And it was her time to go. She was ready to move on. But its hard..... It is so hard. I just need my friends and family to be supportive like my husband. And be there for me like i am for them. And if my grandma can hear my thoughts, i pray to whoever, that she knows I love her and miss her so much...... Thanks to all those who actually cared enough to read this. And actually care about me and my family. Thank you, you are true friends.....

Amanda

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