*DO NOT come onto this journal and tell me how you spanked your kids and they are fine, or that your kids don't listen to you, so you must spank them, or whatever other B.S. you have to say.  This is how I parent MY child and no one will ever change my mind on this, because I have lived through being hit and know exactly what it did my psyche and I DO NOT want my daughter to have to live through that. 

 

My mom has decided she just will not listen to me when I tell her Aiyana will never be hit.  She thinks it's still OK to tell Aiyana she's going to "get a pucky puck" on her butt, or she's going to be spanked, or whatever stupid names she uses for it.  

She is 16 months old!  She does not completely understand everything we are telling her.  When my mom tells her "the next time you throw that (thing) I am taking it away from you" and then Aiyana throws it again, and then my mom hands it back to her and says "the next time you throw that (thing) I'm going to smack your butt", she doesn't understand any of it!  

With me, if Aiyana throws whatever is in her hand because she is mad about something (which is how she's throwing her fits lately), all I do is take whatever she threw, put it away, and tell her she is not going to have it back because she threw it, and guess what, she goes on about her business and doesn't care.  Now when my mom's dealing with her throwing things, the second time she throws whatever she has, she starts laughing, because she's 16 MONTHS OLD and thinks it's funny!  Don't get p.o.ed at her because you're not the one being consistent!

I completely understand why both of my sisters have never tried any forms of discipline other than hitting, because as with my mother, both of them are very inconsistent in their ways of disciplining!  If you tell a kid their toy will be taken away if they do something again, take the damn toy away BEFORE you spank them!  If you tell a kid they will go into time-out if they do whatever again, PUT THEM IN TIME-OUT BEFORE you spank them!  How fucking hard is it to be consistent with discipline?!   

 

And another thing, my mom's a smoker.  I'm allergic to smoke, and I don't want my daughter to die of second hand smoke, so I try to keep her off the back porch where my mom smokes, but of course, she loves going out there with Mamaw, so instead of putting her cigarette out when Aiyana comes out there, she keeps smoking!  Ugh, I am just so sick of living in this stupid town! 

Add A Comment

Comments:

imn0a...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 3:06 PM

I agree about timeouts and distractions first.  

I have the same problem with the smoking issue with both my parents and my husbands..dont they know how bad that is for children?

dereks parents have a smoke room, which of course the kid wants to play out there, they claim its safe because its air conditioned, umm no! get off your fat lazy butt and go outside!

and my parents smoke in their house so i rarely take the babies there ever!

smokers bother me, why put something so toxic in your body?

Message Friend Invite

tatto...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 3:31 PM im sorry, yeah our moms think  they know everything, the i raised you this way and you turned out  fine thing. bleh!  i will soo miss you when you leave lady!

Message Friend Invite

Olivi...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:31 AM I have the same problem with my family- the whole spanking thing is a big issue for me. I've told them that if they raise their hand to my child ONE time, then we are fucking OUT. It's unexusable to hit a child- even if it is "only a spanking". Not cool. More power to ya sister!

Message Friend Invite

lilri...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:13 PM

I completely agree!  Kira is only 10 months old (almost) and def knows what "no" or that sound you make kinda like "aaannnttt".  But how could any child understand a negative if you're not consistant?!  And laughing?  That just encourages them! 

 I know how you feel about your mother.  I don't want Kira to have soda, junk food, and I try to stay as organic as possible.  And what does my mother do when she has her?  Gives her dr pepper!  And what is her excuse?  "But you had it when you were a baby"  Exactly!  She's MY baby and I don't want her to have soda.  You let me and my sister have soda b/c we were YOUR babies. 

Sorry, I just took this moment to vent for a bit.....

Message Friend Invite

DreaK...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:26 PM Oh Marie, I totally understand with the food thing!  Vent away!  My mom doesn't understand why I didn't start giving Aiyana regular cow's milk at a year (well, we already realized when I was breastfeeding she's not good with dairy so why would I even try it?!) and thinks it's ok for her to just have whatever everyone else is eating, and doesn't understand why I always carry extra organic snacks around!  I'm sorry, but I don't want Aiyana having just anything, and she doesn't mind one bit if she eats her Earth's Best cookies instead of some pizza or whatever (pizza is the worst thing for people with gluten allergies & Kevin & I both have an intolerance).  Until Aiyana's 18 and decides what she wants, I'll be doing what I feel is best!

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in