Today is the first of the month and for those of us on public assistance that means grocery shopping.  I made a list of the foods we needed, asked for his imput(got none) and headed to the store.  We ended up going $44 over and I had to break out the credit card.  Then on the way back home he was all about how he could put the food in the freezer better than I can and that it wasn't a slight in any way.  I asked him to wait so I could make sure that we had complete meals for the month since there woldn't be any more food money until July.  He mocked my need to do that.  I had a screaming child, a headache, and an attitude and he wanted to one up me.  Then when I stood aside so he could do it, he turned on arena football and had frozen food melting.  So he put the food away, in no certain order,  and proceeded to watch tv as I put our daugther to sleep.  Keep in mind that the kitchen is still a mess and so is the bedroom and he is playing GTA IV.  I finally get our daughter to sleep and come back down to clean up.  Now that the kitchen is clean he is back in there making eggs and sure to make a mess.  I know for some that a spotless kitchen isn't crucial and normally to me it isn't but we have ants and can't have a mess in there because more come.  It isn't even really about the kitchen, it just irrates me that I have do some much while he chills on Xbox or in front of the TV.  He gets to sleep in because he goes to bed late playing Xbox and watching TV or spending time on the Internet.  So that means I never get to sleep in while he does on the regular.  I just need a break and he isn't able to give me one becuase he is always doing this.  I have told him several times how I feel about this and nothing but me trying to deal  with it and hoping not to get burnt out on being a mom.  It just drives me crazy that he can see the daily stress I am under and does so little to help.  He will comment on how I need to take breaks but not help me take one.  I am just tired of being the only one putting in the work.  I constantly get made fun of because I my house isn't as clean as my mother's or sister's.   I guess that is it.  I'm just tired of being so responsible.  I feel old, dried up, and of no use but to clean up behind my daughter and boyfriend.  I miss that sexy, vibrant, happy, glowing, interesting person that I used to be.  Now all I am is a mom and girlfriend.  I am not even a person outside of those roles.

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 4:00 PM 

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 4:01 PM

Hi--my husband doesnt even make any attempts to cook. He just assumes I'll do it.

I too feel overworked and overstressed. Every night, when my daughter goes to sleep and husband turns on his x-box or computer, I lay down and do nothing for an hour. It's my hour. I've earned it :) After that, I feel more refreshed and have the energy to clean up. It's funny, i'm also in the same boat with cleaning/ants/not having a spotless house. On some level, I really wish I did have the cleanest house. But I also want to have some time for me and with a 2 year old....if i cleaned while she napped--i'd be soo tired that i refuse to do anything while she's sleeping.

By the way, your post reminded me to go get detergent for the laundry:) Gotta do this when my baby gets up.

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