Only for today, I am sad for my fiance. Only for today, I am going to give thought to his family problems. I cannot talk to him about it without and ensuing argument and by writing it I can put it out of my mind. His brother is in rehab for the first time; he is battling alcoholism and substance abuse. Both of our families have suffered from depression and only some of us (ourselves included) have committed to acknowledging and treating it. His brother is manipulative, selfish, impulsive, careless and dangerous. He has on multiple occasions been sexually inappropriate with members of the family as well as friends. He cannot hold a job, and therefore cannot afford to live independently. He owns an un-spayed boxer which he is unable to care for, and lived with my fiance's father for 6 months without taking ajob or paying rent. As I was helpless to make my loved ones see how destructive his behavior had become to himself and others, I remained neutral. His actions finally caught up with him on Mother's Day, and he threatened to commit suicide when he realized he come be imprisoned if someone pressed charges. (Manipulative). He made the decision to commit to rehab. Everyone was so glad and grateful he had realized his problem. Everyone but me. Rehab is only a temporary solution to his problems, and it was the ONLY way out for him. He said he was waiting for rock bottom. I'm sorry- is being homeless, jobless, and having a drug problem somehow not a worst case scenario for anyone? Anyone? Anyway- my mother in law spent the entire Mother's Day scrambling to find a place for her son as did the rest of his family. Once again, he had gotten everyone to fall in line and do his bidding. I didn't want to go see him when my fiance left to talk to him. My brother in law continued to live in my father in law's house for 6 days before he left. My younger sister in law was uncomfortable and afraid to go home. The worst part for me was listening to my fiance talk about how he felt sorry for him, and how good it was that he was going to get help. I sympathized with him because I had gone through something similar with my brother. But my brother had not been involved in anything illegal, I only worried about his health. The most frustrating part was watching this family, my family, put everything in their lives on hold to help someone who didn't help himself. Not couldn't help himself. And now, he is scheduled to be released in two weeks. The dog is living with a friend, and needs a new home in the next 24 hrs. My brother in law is seriously considering leaving treatment early to care for her. He is REALLY weighing treatment (that costs him $5,000 btw) to save his dog from...what? A permanent home? He has nowhere to go when he gets out. He has no job, and he may not return to his father's house because of his sister who is in high school. I am sad for my fiance only today because he feels helpless and he feels it is unfair to "punish" his brother. I pray for them daily, and I am not simply against him no matter how true my fiance thinks it is. This is not about teams, not about right and wrong. I cannot change him, them or anyone else and I cannot fix this. I cannot make them see what I see and the last time I tried it nearly ruined our relationship. I don't know what I'd do in his shoes. But I know what I'm going to do in mine. Stay put, and stay out.

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