• If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
  • If you were in a car traveling the speed of light, what would happen if you turned on the headlights?
  • Can you imagine a world without hypothetical situations?
  • If Superman could catch bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him?
  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  • Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
  • What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
  • Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
  • Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  • Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
  • What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
  • If you threw a cat out the window, would it be considered kitty litter?
  • Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? And who invented Drive-Thru liquor stores?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
  • If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
  • If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
  • Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
  • If you have your finger touching the rear view mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
  • Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
  • If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
  • Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
  • Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
  • Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
  • Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
  • Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
  • Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
  • Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
  • If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
  • Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
  • How can someone "draw a blank"?
  • Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
  • Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
  • Why do skydivers wear helmets?
  • What is another word for "thesaurus"?
  • When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
  • If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
  • Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
  • Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
  • Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
  • Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
  • Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
  • Does a fish get cramps after eating?
  • Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
  • What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
  • How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
  • Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
  • What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
  • If you can laugh at yourself and develop close, healthy relationships, but you are schizophrenic, are you still considered emotionally healthy?
  • If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with,"Quit while you're ahead"?
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • What hair color do they put on driver's licenses of bald men?
  • If mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, do Chinese mothers feed their babies with toothpicks?
  • If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the "others" here for?
  • What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
  • If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • What's the speed of dark?
  • If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
  • Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
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