My hubby and I were talking about my daughters spending more time walking around our neighborhood getting to know some of the kids that live here so they can make new friends and he is saying that I am wayyy too overprotective with the girls.. they are 13 and 15 yrs old.. 2 beautiful girls who I worry but am trying to allow to grow up and do things independently.

As far as walking around the neighborhood my argument is that I dont think my younger daughter Ashley should walk around alone.. she is 13, and very petite.. As for the 15 yr old.. I feel the same about her although shes a lot tougher and can handle herself. I have a strict rule.. when I am not home.. or in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday when the parents of other kids arent home my girls are NOT allowed to walk around or go inside someones house. I just think that there is too much potential for bad things to happen in someones house and I am at work 30 minutes away.. I would have no way of knowing where to look for them if something happened at someone house. Am I over-doing it? I dont think I am.. I have let the 15 yr old walk around - WITH another girl .. I think this is a smart rule.. you NEVER know your neighbors I dont know if there is some nut job watching them from his window LOL...

Ok.. give me your honest opinion.. how would YOU feel as a mother of 2 teenage girls.. (BTW  they are very trustworthy girls.. they get good grades and dont cause any trouble.. so its not them I dont trust.. its OTHER peoples teenage children I worry about.. I remember how peer pressure was!)

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alexi...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:27 PM Well, I'm only 18, but my mom had similar rules for me. I was not allowed at anyones house unless there was a parent home and if she thought I was trying to get away with something, she would insist on talking to the parent before I went over there. I was also not allowed to have anyone over at my house unless there was a parent home. I thought it was pretty fair...

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fjoachim
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:28 PM I'd be the same way, but I would definitely get out and meet my neighbors asap, invite some of them over for a Sunday brunch to get to know one another, pool party, etc...

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Haley...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:28 PM What about getting the girls a prepaid cell phone and making it a rule that they call to let you know where they are going and call you when they get to the person's house. As for peer pressure you just have to trust that the girls have good judgement.  Talk to them about things like drugs or smoking and why they are dangerous, not just that they're "wrong".  I even showed my brothers pics of people who were addicted to drugs and alcohol and how horrible they look.  Not one of the five has touched drugs.  I can tell you though that if you are to strict it can backfire later. When I finally got out of the house I went crazy...I am not saying your girls would do this but most teens do develop that rebellious nature :D

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nova8
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:29 PM No way!! My daughter is fourteen and is 5'8". She is bigger than me. I still would not let her wander around the neighborhood alone! That is just safe parenting as far as I am concerned!

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ceall...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:29 PM I also have two girls, 14 and 16.  I still don't allow them to walk around the neighborhood alone.  When they get home from school and I'm at work (just 5 minutes away), they're supposed to stay in the house or in the backyard and they are not allowed to have anyone over if no adult is home.  I agree with you that it's too dangerous to allow them to go around alone.  I only let them go with each other or their brother and then they have to take a cell phone with them and be home or call by a certain time. 

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SDbabe
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:30 PM I have the same rules for my son that is 11.  We live in a really good neighborhood, but you never know.

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scout...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:34 PM

no i dont think so at all...my kids are not going to walk anywhere until they are atleast 16. same with dates and such...no car dates til they are 16. of course in my opinion....no child should be dating until they understand the concept of love and what it actually entitles. thats just me though

 

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theboss7
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:43 PM

As a mother of a 14 year old girl. I DO NOT believe you are being over protective. These are your children and you have to do what you feel is necessary to keep your girls safe. We do not allow ANYONE in our home when we are not home. Our daughter very well knows the rules. When I was growing up it was the same for me. I didn't get it then but I get it now and I take the time to explain to our daughter why this rule is so important. We have two dogs and one of our daughters responsibility is to walk the dogs. We know some of our neighbors because I am living in the same neighborhood that I grew up in. But there are lot of new people living around that I do not know. We insist that our daughter carry her cell phone when she goes outside to walk the dogs. Or if she if going to walk to a friends house. And she must call when she arrives and when she is leaving with the agreed upon departure time. But in your case it is different because you are living in a new neighborhood. I think it wise that you have your daughters walk together or as you mentioned the older one with a friend. I would not allow either one to walk around alone.

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Mommy...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 8:02 PM

NO-

YOU ARE NOT BEING OVER PROTECTIVE, TIMES HAVE CHANGED AND THE PRESSURE IS ON FOR ALL SORT OF THINGS. THE SAD PART IS THAT SOME PARENTS ALLOW THERE CHILDREN TO DRINK AND SMOKE IN THE HOME. SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND CHECK THE NATIONAL DIRECTORY FOR SEX OFFENDERS, WHO MIGHT BE IN YOUR AREA. YOU NEVER KNOW.

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kawig...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 8:40 PM I THINK U MUST BE OVER PROTECTIVE THESED AYS.. I ALSO THINK IT IS FAIR AND SAFE TO HAVE THE GIRLS WAIT UNTIL U ARE HOME BEFORE THEY GO OUTSIDE OR OFF UR PROPERTY.. IT IS JUST SMART... I REMEBER WHEN WE LIVED IN HILLBURN (AND SPRING VALLEY) WE WERE ALLOWED TO RIDE AROUND THEN COME BACK EVERY 5 OR 10 MIN TO CHECK IN THEN GO BACK OUT NOW REMEMBER HILLBURN WAS A SMALL CLOSE KNIT AREA AND EVERYYYYYYY BODY KNEW EVERYBODYYYYY SO IT WAS DIFFERENT...I SAY CONTINUE BEING A MOM WHO LOVES HER CHILDREN ESPECIALLY IN THESE DAYS AND TIMES..

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