I'm almost 33 weeks along and I'm just sick of being pregnant.  I hate it.  It worries me.  I'm afraid I will have negative feelings toward the baby because this has just been such a horrible experience for me. 

For the first month I developed a kink in my neck that was so painful I couldn't hardly move.  This was actually before I realized I was pregnant.  Then in my second month I had some serious sciatic nerve problems.  It got to the point I would "get stuck" trying to walk somewhere in the house.  The pain was so bad I couldn't even move.  For the entire first trimester and part of the second I had a food aversion where everything tasted like salt and the only thing I could stand was fresh fruits and veggies.  My food aversion finally went away and about a month or two later I was diagnosed with Gestational diabetes, omg so much for eating yummy foods!

So here I am.  I still get "morning sickness" although it's occuring less and less frequently.  I hate food and it's all I think about because of my special diet.  If my blood sugar is low I feel like crap and if it's high I feel like crap.  To top all of this off, since March my navy husband has been having to leave for 4 weeks at a time, then he comes home for a week and then leaves for 4 weeks.  He just left again last week and I'm frusterated and lonely and just plain sick of this whole experience.  Oh and did I mention that 2 months after the baby is born he's going to be gone for 6 months???

Since this whole post has been a huge ventfest I should probably confess to a few good things =P  I look forward to feeling the baby move and I talk to her when she does, although sometimes it's just to tell her to be nice because she's kicking mommy in a not so nice place.  When I work on decorations for the baby room I look forward to her arrival.  I haven't gained much weight this entire pregnancy so I'll probably weight less after I deliver than I did before I got pregnant!  Although the next time I want to lose weight I think a good diet and exercise routine might be easier.

I think my next journal post needs to be a positive one.  I'm starting a very negative trend here!

 

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Comments:

ginge...
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:51 PM dont worry so much. A lot of preggos feel the same as you. I was 3 weeks overdue with mine and was absolutely horrid toward the end and wasn't even excited about her anymore, just didnt want to be pregnant anymore. I was scared that my baby would know how i felt, but now she is here and i cant even believe how much i resented my pregnancy.  and besides if you cant vent here, where can you?

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Aasiyah
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:54 PM alot of mommies go through this.. don't worry when the baby comes u will be overjoyed.. then u wil lhave other problems to vent about like the rest of us. LOL.. LOL...

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jenz450
Jun. 1, 2008 at 7:56 PM

Everything will fall into place.

I do sympathise with the sciatic nerve, I had the same thing for a good 3 months...yuk

Before you know it, you'll be back to your ol self and when your with your baby you will see how worth alllllll of this is...

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