I am so f**king (sorry) aggravated.  Every night, I sit at this computer and try to find a home.  I search the classifieds, I search Craigslist, and google every imaginable combination of words to find someone to help me.  I guess, technically, I am not homeless.  I live w/ my parents.  My son and I, but, my daughter lives with my sister so that she could stay in school.  I know that there are moms out there worse off than me, moms that need a home right now.  But, my heart can't take the tearing apart it goes through every Sunday when I drop my daughter off, and drive away.  My son asks for her constantly...."will Nichole come back when the sun comes up?"  "No sweetheart, 5 more sun coming ups."  

 I want to cry right along with him.  Why is there no help.  Why can't I get help even if I didn't have to go to a shelter?  I cannot afford the rents on my own.  No Section 8, no affordable housing...no nothing.....I have worked at the same job for almost 10 years... you think that would count for something.  But no.

 I can't even seem to write this post without getting so frustrated.  It is not my fault I don't have a home anymore, the x didn't pay the court ordered rent, so I was evicted.  Why do I feel like I am being punished because of what he didn't do.  And the courts let him get away with it.  Now all of a sudden, it is not his responsibility to put a roof over our heads.

   Does anyone know of National Foundations that would help.  Here in NJ there is nothing.  No State or County agencies to help.  Seems there is no money in ANY budget.  I have looked into grants, but they seem to be only for organizations.  It doesn't seem like there is any out there for individuals.  I am not looking for handouts, I am just looking for help.  The DV shelters only really help if you went there.  

I just want my family back together.  How can we even begin to heal, when we are seperated like this? 


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Jun. 5, 2008 at 11:52 PM I finally have a place of my own and I know you haven't heard from me in a long time but I have been checking your new posts. I had to leave the shelter I was at because I was there as long as possible( 4 months) The government housing apartment I thought I was getting fell through and I moved in with my grown son in Columbus. I was getting on the Internet by driving to hot-spots and sitting in my car. My battery in my laptop runs out too soon to keep in touch but I have Internet at my new place. I know the struggle you are going through is unfair but you have to remember that you and your children are safer than before. You are strong and can get through this. It seems I have been taking two steps forward and one step back this whole time but I am starting to see the end at the light of the tunnel. I am praying for you and your family.

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