Two years seems like such a long time, but it's not. Two years ago today I gave birth to a baby girl  named Ava. She was beautiful, tiny, way to early and already dead. You always hear that time heals the pain...I think that it's a lie! Time only me yearn for her more. Everytime I see a girl about her age I wonder what she would be like. Would she be a girly-girl or a tom-boy? What color her eyes would be and all of the other things that most of us take for granted everyday. As a Mom we should always know them best. Right? Losing a baby before birth is a very isolating experience. People never got see how perfect she was. They don't know what to say to you. There will never be any birthdays, first days of this and that. And the worst part in you live everyday with the loss. It is groundhog day every day!Everyone else just seems to forget that she ever existed. If they do remember, they are to scared to mention her to you. Even though I have been fortunate enough to have another baby, It does not take the place of the girl I lost. 

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Jun. 1, 2008 at 10:11 PM I am sorry. My thoughts are with you.

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