Hi there. Sorry I haven't been around for a while but between work, sports, and everything else I feel like I have barely enough time left over to rest. That I know I'm not alone in. Lol...

Over spring break SD BM came up to visit and ever since life has been a miserable thing for me. I had hoped that things between SD and I would bounce back after a little while but instead it seems to be getting worse and I don't know what way to turn now. My husband stands by me through thick and thin but his support can't give me any answers to what is going on in this child's head or how to make things better. I feel as if I'm out of ideas and don't know what to do about it and that scares the hell out of me. She shows me no respect, will argue and yell at me every chance she gets and expects me to take her everywhere and give her everything she wants and when I don't I'm the evil step-mom. I told her that if she wants something she needs to earn it. To be perfectly honest all I really want is gratitude but that's asking way to much... It makes me feel like a complete failure. I've always prided myself on making people feel welcome, connecting with them, making them comfortable, and making them feel like they are a part of things. For some reason I can't seem to build a relationship with SD let alone anything else. She's lived with us  a little over a year and a half and things seem to be moving backwards more then forward. My nerves are frazzled and my patience are slim to none lately. I just wish I new what to do. I don't want to loose my patience because that's such a huge part of what makes me me;  And I certainly don't want to give up on her because I see so much potential in her when she's around other people. I don't think that I've ever had a moment in my life where I felt as helpless as I do right now. One way or another I've always figured out something to make things work, but I can't seem to make anything work with SD right now because to be honest I don't think she wants anything to work with me...

Thanks for listening to me babble...

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tatar
Jun. 1, 2008 at 11:43 PM you are not alone ((hugs)) hope tomorrow would be a better day for you.

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asian...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 7:58 AM

Wow...your story is just like mine.  My SD want's nothing to do with me or her sister unless it's me doing something for her (ie buying stuff).  I'm not one that will "buy" anyone's love. 

While I have no advice for you, I hope you feel a little better about knowing you are soooo not alone.  :)  I hope things get better for you! 

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