COMMENT IF YOU WILL-I truly would appreciate the advice. But you do not know the whole situation, so don't bash, and don't be cruel. There is such a thing as constructive criticism(with a good attitude)

My kids do not want to go to summer school. They have gone every summer. So I made this "deal" with them. But let me explainl.

I have been having lots of arguments trying to get them to help around the house, and even clean their rooms. So, I just quit telling them to clean their rooms until they got so messy they couldn't even walk through them. Last night, I made my daughte clean her room(three hours) while I set there and told her what to do and where to put things, without shoving them under the bed and other out of sight places. Then she was told it must stay clean, or we would throw things away.

Then, today, my son piddled for six hours cleaning his room. I kept going in and telling him what to do, and then I'd leave and he didn't do it. so the last hour was me, sitting in his room, very frustrated, and telling him what to do and how to do it. It is done. And must stay that way, or we will throw things away as it gets left on the floor.

Then tonight, they begged me to not go to summer school. So the deal is, they must keep their rooms clean. Since I don't work til 10am, they can sleep no later than 9:00. they have to get up and eat breakfast before I leave. My son is to clean the kitchen. Do the dishes, wipe the counter, stove, table, refrigerator, and microwave. He is also to vacuum the floor everyday. The kitchen was the room he chose. So he can either do the dishes after supper, and the rest during the day or all during the day. He is also to feed and water the dog, and take it out. He is actually the better cook of the two, so he will make the mac and cheese for lunch(when I don't have time to prepare it the night before.) This, I hope will teach him responsibility, and keep him a little busy during the day. When his chores are finsihed, he is to read a chapter in a book well enough to tell me what it is about when I get home.(He is 10 and his reading level is that of a sixth grader, third month.)

My daughter chose the living room and bathroom. She is to straighten and put things away, vacuum, and dust. The bathroom is also hers to straighten and put things away. Once a week she will clean the toilet, sink, and bathtub. She is to feed and water her outside dog. When her chores are done, she is to read two short stories and tell me what they are about. (She is 11 and her reading level is 4th grade.) I feel this will teach her responsibilty. And then she will help me with supper so that she becomes a better cook.

They are not to answer the phone unless it is me or my husband, or unless the person gives a chosen password on the answering machine, letting them know I want them to pick up the phone so this person can check in on them.  They are not to answer the door, unless the person calls ahead and gives the password. They are not to leave with the person, unless they give the password(which will be changed daily). Their friends are not allowed at the house, and they are not allowed to go to friends unless prior arrangements are made the night before.

I am wondering if I have thought of everything, and if this seems like a good idea. Some might say they should go to summer school, especially my daughter. But summer school here is  alot of physical fun and entertainment(basically a daycare.) I am planning on getting a tutor for my daughter in a week or two, just to help her not forget things.

All in all, I am hoping that by them having so much responsibility that they will learn respect and responsibility. Ofcourse, I will do the housework and laundry myself also, and on weekends. But I grew up with much more of the responsibility of the house than they are getting. I hated it, but it made me more aware of things for my life today. I want them to learn "achievement" and a "Sense of Pride" in the home they help take care of(which i do not feel they have at this point.) And I want to also teach them recognition for what they do, and the help the give at home.(recogniiton I was not shown growing up.)

COMMENT IF YOU WILL-I truly would appreciate the advice. But you do not know the whole situation, so don't bash, and don't be cruel. There is such a thing as constructive criticism(with a good attitude)

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Comments:

South...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:27 AM

I'm assuming that summer school is not necessary for them to pass the next grade. You were going to send them so they could keep up with what they have learned?

Okay, next question. lol   Since they are so close in age, do they get along okay together? Does one try to dominate over the other? Just wondering since they will be on their own for a few hours during the day.

Will you mentally and physically be able to "keep up" with what they are doing or not doing when you come home from a long day at work?

Okay, enough questions! I think if they can be responsible enough on the side of safety and stay at home then all is good. My kids stayed home by themselves for a few hours when they were that age.

I think they are going to get bored really fast being at home during the time you are at work. They will have only each other to aggravate and no friends to play with. :-) I think they will be screaming for summer school within two to three weeks!  :-)  Or maybe you will be screaming for it! 

Either way I hope you guys have a great summer!!

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sugar...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:30 AM I think you are right to give them responsibility.....how else will they learn.  A little housework never killed anyone.....least not us. As for the summer school thing.....you are right...it is usually a lot of fun. But some schools offer intensive programs for children who need academic help. But I would do whichever is convenient for you.....and whatever would help her excel in school the most.

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tryin...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:30 AM It sounds like a good idea, but I grew up with a girl named Sammy (9) and her brother Justin (11) and when I was in the 4th grade I guess it was, they were both violently killed. Some man had come to the door claiming he had spoke to their dad about buying a motorcycle and he wanted to come in and call the dad to see if he could come right over. The kids opened the door. Sammy was smoothered in her closet and Justin was shot and killed while climbing through a window. I didn't get to go to the funeral, but I heard it was closed casket. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to be aware that ppl are manipulative and will say anything to get in your home without a scene. Just let your kids know that the consequences of opening that door could be far worse then being in trouble.

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Kirlycat
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:33 AM Lots to think about. Yes, they get along pretty well. they argue too. I want to see how it goes before i allow friends. And in about a week or so, I want to get a pool pass, but I have to find someone to take them that will be able to keep up with where they are and what theya re doing. Summer school is optional, they don't really need it. When they went before, it was just for "daycare" until I could find someone. I will just have to see how it works.

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South...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:59 AM Sounds like you have thought about this and have tried to implement safe boundaries. I would let them know that it is on a weekly basis and as long as they do as told within reason that they can continue their "summer of freedom".  :-)  Best wishes to you all.

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Kirlycat
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:10 AM Thank you. I really have tried to think of as much as possible. I was a "latch key kid" at age 5. But 1979 was very different than 2008. it is hard for me to leave them at home, but they will grow up sometime.And as long as I can check in on them, and friends can check in on them, hopefully this will work well, or it is off to summer school. I have no family or friends to watch them while I work. hubby has been working, and got layed off, so is working odd job out of town. When he gets back in a few days, he will be out looking for a job, so he can check in and out until he finds a job.

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Perpe...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 2:13 AM

I've set up similar deals with my daughters. The thing that came to my mind is: what's the punishment if they don't complete the chores? You're not going to want to come home and find things not done and have to supervise them to get done. Either privileges gone or staying at someone's house? Kids that age usually rebel against being "babysat". How about getting them to sign a contract?

Sounds like you were thorough covering all possibilities. Good luck!!

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Kirlycat
Jun. 2, 2008 at 7:40 PM they did sign the rule sheet!!!! I actually thought of that. If they do not hold up their end of the bargain, they will be grounded from t.v. friends, and the internet(which is the big one). And if it happens twice, they will go stay with their grandmother is St. Louis.(who is 58, and very very very strict. that one got them)

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Perpe...
Jun. 3, 2008 at 12:55 AM Oooh, consequences and grandma's  house.... you evil, evil mom you!!...LOL  Good for  you! :)

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Kirlycat
Jun. 4, 2008 at 11:30 PM I try.(LOL) Day three, and it is going well so far.

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