Life in L&D

I work in L&D and float in the SCU/NICU

I'm from a family of 7. The third girl of 4 and 1 big brother. My oldest sister died shortly-after birth and yes I do still consider her my sister, why wouldn't I. My second older sister has gone through a lot and has caused a lot of problems for all of us and yet through it all we are all still a close family. My younger sister and I are more like best friends (we're 2yrs apart). We shared a room up until I was 20yrs! And to this day even though we are an hr away we are still really close (our oldest kids are 5 months apart and our youngest are 10 wks apart). My older sister has had it rough since she was a freshman in high school. We are a military family so moving every 3yrs was guaranteed. I was the middle girl so my loyalty to both sisters was a must. When we moved to my dad's last duty station my older sister began causing major problems. She began drinking, becoming violent, lieg, running away, etc. She eventually "fell in love" with a boy in high school who she ended up running away for (she ran all the way to my grandparent's home which caused major problems). My dad took her back for she was a prodigal daughter. My mom on the other hand disowned her doing the most cruel act of cutting her out of every single family photo, giving away all of her stuff, not speaking to her and the biggest not speaking to me ( she confided in me a lot). I would sneak all the pictures out of the trash of her that were cut out and hide them in my room. Eventually my sister grew up and her and my mom became friendly. She then met another boy who she eventually married. At first things were great until he joined the Army (they were 17 and 18 at the time they were married). She got pregnant with the first but so did his mistress. She called my dad when my nephew was 2 months old and said she was done. So my dad and I drove all the way across the country packed her up and brought her home.  They moved in with us ( I just started high school). She began working full time to move out and start over being separated from her husband.  He followed saying he changed. He eventually found another and she found out she was pregnant with their second! She  said she was done. My dad and I again drove out of stat to pick her up and my nephew. She delivered baby #2 with my dad there and her husband denied him. She went back to work and her husband moved in with his mother ( he was dishonorably discharged). She began to try to reconcile and ended up pregnant with there 3rd boy! But moved in with his mother as well. My dad helped not one word nothing just helped, talked to his son-in-law with respect. He again left and my sister again delivered their 3rd child with my dad's help. He was sick when he was born up into he was 2yrs when he had surgery. My dad took a second job, paid for her insurance, gave her money for bills, baby sat, etc. She sought legal help and applied for any help she could receive and continued to work. She did not want to be on welfare b and was determined to meet the cap in which she would be considered to make to much (she worked at Taco Bell). She then moved back with her husband but they moved out of state to start over. Things seemed OK til their youngest son's 1st birthday. He did not show up! His work had not seen or heard from him since the night before. He left on his youngest son's 1st birthday to live with another woman. She knew he was married but didn't care. So again my dad and I drove out of state packed her and her 3 boys and moved them home. He did not complain or berate her anything just said I love you and that was all. He paid for the best lawyer and her divorce was final. Her 2 oldest have been through physical, mental, verbal, and sexual abuse yes they are not OK. Her oldest has emotional problems and is impulsive he is also now 13yrs old. He also has made sure no one ever hurts his mom. He is very upset that the state forces him to now spend every summer with his father (he is the abuser he was sexually abused at day care). The middle boy,11 yrs old, is impulsive as well but a true sweet heart and a big teddy bear. He is a compulsive lair (clinically diagnosed) probably all due to the lies he was forced to repeat as a young boy. He was burned with cigarettes at day care but so protected by his big brother. His big brother once punched another boy in the face for pushing him down. The youngest has escaped all of the abuse. He is the baby and a mma's boy. When ever my sister is not feeling well he tries his best to help he is 10yrs old. He is a kleptomaniac (also clinically diagnosed). Why? Because his dad denies them food if they misbehave. So he steals to feel secure. Their father works in a juvenile detention center and punishes his boys the same way. They are force to stay with their dad every other weekend and every summer. My dad is paying for their intense therapy, counseling, anything they want. My sister works to pay off all the money my dad has given her and still cooks them breakfast and dinner, takes them on vacations, buys them the "in" stuff, and is the best mother she never had. She was remarried and is now in the process of going threw a divorce. Why because her new husband decided to start to treat her and her boys like their father did but this time she said "Hell No" and packed them up and left. My dad is working 3 jobs, he is 55 yrs old, retired army veteran, 75% disabled, diabetes type 2, rheumatoid arthritis, as well as fibromyalgia. And not once has he complained to her. They are in the process of switching all rights to my dad for her 3 boys so my sister can get the help she severely needs. She is not giving up just giving her boys a chance to see that silver lining. She still works full time at Taco Bell and is not giving up on her boys. Her oldest is dappling in gangs, drugs, girls and is now having to do random drug testing (she enrolled him in a high risk teen program that makes them do random drug testing) and he loves her for it! Tells her every day. The middle is more and more lovable and loves spend time with little kids he wants to go into that line of work. The youngest is learning that he does not need to steal to survive and doing better. All three are very protective of their mother and my father. They call my dad when ever they need and he will drop what ever he is doing to pick them up and take them out as a guys night. My sister is just like my dad. She never complains how hurt she is, how much she can't give her boys, and how now they have to move from a 4 bed room house to a 2 bedroom apartment till things get better. She doesn't want to move in with my paren't and my dad is not pressuring her instead he is packing her house and moving her with only a simple I love you.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:57 AM Sounds like you have an amazing father. That is very hard to come by these days. I am sorry that your family has had so many hard times. I will keep you all in my prayers.

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Jun. 20, 2008 at 1:08 AM Your dad seems like such an amazing man! You and your sister are so lucky! Those boys will appreciate what they have so much when they get older! All of the Grandpa love will make up for all of the horrible things that they've gone through because he shows them the better of things! I hope everything works out for her and those precious boys!

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