I know this isn't the best way to deal with this but I am in almost complete denial! The bleeding has almost completely stopped, the cramps have stopped and when I used the doppler I heard a heartbeat (I know it could have been my own). I keep looking for that silver lining like "Ooopps we messed up!".

I read a post like like my situation where the OP said she had bleeding and cramps and went to the ER and they couldn't hear a heartbeat and sent her home saying you will pass the baby soon, ur having a m/c! She went to her Dr and did blood work and the Drs were baffled when her levels were going up. Come to find out the baby was alright!

I can't help but to hold onto hope! If when I go to the Dr and they do indeed tell me it's a m/c fine, but what IF? I know this might sound bad but ....... Would god REALLY do this to me AGAIN??? I didn't do anything wrong!!! I waited so long for this baby, why would this happen again?

My husband broke down crying.

 So NO I am not giving up on this baby until I get a final confirmation that it is indeed gone!

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Comments:

swtan...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:03 AM I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through something like that too before I had my son. I don't think you can do anything but hope until you know anything for sure.  I'm hoping for you! 

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spops...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:13 AM Honey I know you are confused and hurting. M/c happens for several reasons but usually it's because of some genetic error and if the child survived you would love it but it would suffer terribly throughout life. This is the best thing if it is a miscarriage. You did nothing wrong, these things just happen. I just saw my GYN about trying to get pregnant and he told me something interesting I didn't know before. For every successful ovulation there is only a 20% chance of conception. It makes it clear that this is all about miracles. If you pregnancy is over just take comfort in knowing that the Lord has his reasons and he will bless you with a another soon. You gave life to one of his, but they didn't need to live on this earth, so he brought them home. That's how I got through mine. Just knowing that child will never taste evil, pain, fear, loneliness, sadness, but only know love, joy, peace, and happiness should provide some comfort. maybe. I'll be praying for you!

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mywilber
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:26 AM

i am so sorry

dont give up hope right till the end!! stay strong

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elmop...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:50 AM i know what you mean there we though everything was going great and loosing faith after the other two losses asking ourselves what did we do to deserve this we don't its not fair but i do hope that this has stopped and that the baby is fine

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AnasM...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:54 AM Don't give up...and you might want to go get a 2nd opinion too

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Mommy...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:24 AM You keep holding on to that hope. You don't sound in denial at all, you sound realistic. You know what should be happening, but you know what CAN happen. Keep holding on hope for that little miracle, and I will keep praying with you. When is your next doctors appt?

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rowfmowf
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:46 AM I am praying for you!  Don't give up until you know for sure.

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wntg1grl
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:32 PM

Amber...please dont be so hard on YOURSELF!!!!  Hope is a wonderful thing...God gives us that for a good reason!  Your little one has a plan...weather here, or there!  God LOVES you!  He is a LOVING and LOYAL God!  He has great things planned for you and your family!  Look at what he has already done for you!!!  He is NOT done!!  He wants PERFECTION...and He NEVER lies!!!  There is a summer Bible study at Heather's house starting tomorrow...Beth Moore's Breaking Free.  It might really help you...no pressure.  I am not doing it...I'm doing Griefshare...Oh..that might be a great one for you...Its about dealing with loss...I would love for you to join me!!!  Tuesdays from6-8pm...or maybe it was 7-9pm...I cant remember!  No pressure...let me know if you want to go!!!

I love you!!!

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