I am at lost!  I just typed this whole blog and then some how it got lost.  It was so right on to how I was feeling.  Maybe it was just meant for me to write and not for everyone to hear.  I wrote about my saddness with having a special needs child.  How I always feel like I need to defend him everywhere I go.  I might be defending him because he has his tongue out, or he is flapping, or he running aroung in cricles or he is just spending time trying to master stairs on a piece of equiment.  I guess I am trying to make others see Isaac as a normal child.  What is normal anyways?  Isaac is Isaac and he is perfect in God's image. 
  I also mentioned that when I am reading other peoples blogs they always mention that they love being mom and it is the best thing that could ever happen to them.  There are times i feel like this but there are more times that i am just exhausted to feel.....anything!  I feel horrible for saying that....but i feel more sadness than happiness right now.  I am tired of fighting doctors, therapist(for my son).  I really don't have anything left in me!!!!  I can't ask God for patience or peace because he will give me the oppotunity to have peace and patience.  Right now, I feel I need more than a shoulder.......I need God to pick me up and carry me through the thick mud that we are in. 
  I guess what I want to know is how do other Mom's who have special need children just go through there day not thinking that there child has a disablity?  I want Isaac to grow up confident and know he has CP but that won't get in the way.  He can do anything he puts his mind too!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 2:30 AM OH boy do I ever feel your pain right now! I am exhausted! I just want to go away, no kids, just me and relax, put all my troubles behind me, but I know that won't and really couldn't happen! I have been trying for MONTHS now to get someone to look at Jasmine who is 14 months old and still only drinking formula, but I just keep getting the run around! FINALLY the other day I got papers in the mail for the feeding refferal and now I am having to fill out this paper work and get it out there! UGH! THEN how long is it going to take?? Its soooo frusterating! I think hmmmm if she was in the ministries care would it take this long, wouldn't someone be worried about her and t hink that she would be starving eating no solids?? Well why is it this hard for her parents to get anything done for her? GRRr! I pray, I pray lots, its the only thing that keeps me sane! I also have a 3 year old son who has hit the terrible twos!!!!!!! He is so whiney lately its driving me crazy! THEN theres my 11 year old who acts 13!! AHHHH rescue me! I hope things get better for you, I know what its like, draining, emotional, heart breaking! Keep praying, god is listening and we will be rewarded in the end!

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Jun. 20, 2008 at 1:26 PM

Hi i hope you don't mind , i couldn't help myself but to notice a beautiful family on your page and see the blog right under asking god for help.... my name is Christy and i'm only 25 with 3 children and when i read this it brought tears to my eyes i grew up with a little brother with cp and it is very sad i was the caretaker of jonathan because my mother had no care to help him...it was very exhausting! But let me tell you theres nothing more than having know that the baby knows he may not have anyone but he has someone as yourself that don't judge him and loves him for him  you owe noone nothing you have to be your childs voice you have   to let people know there is no reason for them to stare and you don't need to explain youself or your childs condition.. Remember GOD does everything for a reason he would not have blessed you with this wonderful child if he didn't believe you could not do it! Yes, it get hard, it will get harder but guess what you can do it !!!! i wish you all the happiness in the world and i will pray for you and your family!!! And you know children with cp are the most talented children i've meet my brother finished school and is working on becoming and arisit yes with those hands that seemed they were always going to be useless you have to belive in him so he can do the same for himself!!!





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