ok, so I am still waiting to go to the Dr. I went up north instead. So I havent changed my meds yet. I still think I need to. I just been staying up late & getting up late. But all I want to do is sleep. I think I might be more depressed then manic. I'm not really crying, but I am telling myself how much I hate myself & hate my life. Sometimes I feel that things are just not worth it anymore. I went to a bridal shower we had a good day, but as soon as I got home hubby tries to get me to do everything. By the way the house is terrible. But anyway I go to the in-laws today & my MIL was telling that (by which the shower was for my hubby's cousin) some of the ladies didnt like me calling my daughter weird! I think my little girl who is almost 2 I just think she does some weird things. But these ppl r nice to my face. But then we were leaving her house today & my hubby was putting my daughter in the hot carseat, (I live in AZ, hot already) & I guess he didnt wait long enough & she was crying & he mmmmm I am just so made. I was trying to tell him that he needed to wait longer till I was able to cool off the car, but him mommy stoppped & said he was just on something hot & basically telling me to shut up nicely. I'm starting to feel like these ppl think I'm some kind of idiot & that they r better then me. I am also tired that they think I'm not as good as them.  I dont no, I guess I feel that my family, hubby & his family just makes me feel like I'm no good. They're nice to my face but I guess I'm not good enough. My family makes me mad & his makes me feel like I'm lower class. I am having a hard time trying to say what I am feeling. I guess ppl think its ok to tell me how much I scew up, but dont like when I even speak. I dont get ppl to talk to me much. SCEW them ALL

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:46 AM I am the same way. I hate life and everything in it. My family gets on my nerves and hubby's family can't stand me. They are all nice face to face and then once I am gone it is like I am the worst mom in the world. So I know where you are coming from. If you ever need any one to talk to let me know. I am here. We can be miserable together.

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