Okay, so as  most of you already know, I lost a baby in October of 07 at 27 weeks...they never figured out why he was stillborn so this is the main reason I'm considered high risk this pregnancy.  So basically what happened is I went to the doctor on a Friday, over the weekend the baby wasn't moving but he had never moved much anyway so it took me awhile to notice and then I thought it was first time mom jitters and so I waited, not wanting to be a bother to anyone, right?  So by the next Friday, my son was born stillborn...there's the background.

So with THIS pregnancy, I felt the baby move really early, around 16 weeks...having been pregnant before (and recently) I KNOW it was the baby moving.  So anyway, he/she'd been sort of active from then on, now all last week it was on my mind that the baby hadn't been moving, but I wasn't freaked out.  Then Friday I was at TJ's house (boyfriend) and I was really trying to sit there quietly and feel the baby move and that's when I started freaking out, like, okay, what's going on?  He's being insensitive as usual so I go home to lick my wounds and stress in private.  Then Saturday comes and I'm REALLY freaked out now...I've sat in the dark in silence after drinking orange juice...nothing.  I've tried to listen to the babies heartbeat w/ my cheapo "prenatal heart listener.."  nothing.  So I call my mom, she tells me to call my doctor.  Instead I call my pregnant friend and talk to her, THEN I call the doctor...I get a call back from the on call doctor, who's a woman and also around 20 weeks pregnant.  She was a BITCH!  I mean there's just no other word for her.  Wow.  She was terrible.  I tell her how I lost a baby loosely around this time during my last pregnant and how I haven't felt anything in roughly 11 days.  She's like, well I haven't felt MY baby move since yesterday.  Okay bi-atch...how does that compare to eleven?  Then she says how even if there's something wrong, there's nothing that can be done since it's too early for the baby to survive outside my womb.  Okay...um...thank you so much for the rays of Sunshine?!  I mean, I just feel like since I was calling scared, had told her about my history and all, HOW was she so callous?  Apparently this is normal because in the other posts I've seen on CM a lot of doctors were telling the women the same thing.  Can I get some phoneside manner?  So she was doing that thing where she lets her sentences trail off.  Like this: Well you're welcome to come in if you want to......


So I told her I'd just wait and see how I felt in a couple of hours.  Then I got off the phone and promptly burst into tears.  I was just so angry!  Angry that I let her treat me that way and didn't call her on her heinous attitude.  Anyway, long story short I called back a few hours later and told her I was coming in...I'd never been to the L&D at the hospital where I'll be delivering (I go to a closer satellite office for appts) so I got lost of course.  I was afraid to listen to music thinking whatever song came on would always remind me of this day if something bad happened.  Anyway, they hooked me up to the monitors, listened to the baby's heartbeat (he/she HAD ONE, yay!!!) and then waited for the doctor to come see me.  They couldn't find her.  I could tell the head nurse was irritated.  Finally they just released me, the nurse said, well the doctor said as long as you've heard the heartbeat you can leave.  UGH!  She's a hack!  Anyway, I felt fine then because all I really wanted was the hear the baby's heartbeat. 

 Update:  Okay ladies, I appreciate how up in arms you guys are about this situation, now I KNOW I wasn't overreacting...for those of you reading it for the first time, I want to clarify that the doctor who was acting this way to me WAS NOT my doctor, but the on call doctor for the weekend.  My doctor is fantastic and if I would have been in labor, he would have been paged...that's why I chose him, because instead of seeing 5 doctors, I always see the same one and I KNOW who'll be the physician to deliver my baby.  I guess when it's not a labor call it just goes to whomever is on call..hence the evil troll doctor I ended up *not* seeing.

Add A Comment

Comments:

anismum
Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:45 AM hmm, that must have been tough. praying that everything goes fine for you. but the greatest favor u can do to your baby at the moment is to relax. learn some relaxing techniques like deep breathiung, go for walks, listen to classical music etc. anxiety is natural, but u have to come up with ways to handle it because it does lead to hormonal surges and affects the baby's growth. good luck to you. remember, God is always there to take care of all of us..........

Message Friend Invite

mdmjam
Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:46 AM

Sounds like you're military? If so, I'd be complaining to someone higher than her... AND how dare the DR not come check you... Um..... Doesn't sound right.... Glad you heard the baby's heart beat.. I'm sure the bricks were lifted off your shoulders!!!!  Ahh...

PS.. I'll come B@#ch slap that DR... Ugh!!!!

HUGS!!

Message Friend Invite

about...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:53 AM I had to go to the hospital twice because I hadn't felt my baby moving when I was 37 weeks. When they hooked me up to the monitors it was obvious that she was moving but I still wasn't feeling it. After a sprite and some tequila sunrise-no tequila, I finally started feeling her move. The (bitchy) nurse came in and said, "Now you can't tell me you aren't feeling that." If she had let me speak I would have been able to tell her I was feeling it. It is so scary to think that a baby can be turning olympic size summer salts in our tummies and we don't feel it but I mean mine was supposedly out of room to move, but she was moving, I just wasn't feeling it. Sometimes I think nurses see the "typical' stuff so much they forget to look for things that are out side the norm. I think they have tunnel vision when it comes to being tactful with first time mommies especially ones who have reasons to worry. Also they say that those heart listeners aren't that telling until after 20 weeks. I was listening at 12 weeks with it. I didn't hear anything but the swoosh of my fluids for a very long time. I am glad you are listening to your body though. Don't let those people bully you. You tell them what you need to make you feel comfortable so that you can hold this one in your arms.

Message Friend Invite

Mela1920
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:09 AM

First off, you might want to consider switching doctors. It is never too late, and they can just send your records over to your new OBGYN. She is a raging bitch and you deserved to be treated better than that. I agree with mdmjam...How dare she not check on you? Seriously you deserve much better treatment and she needs to check her manner. Doctor or no, you are paying good money for her services and deserve to be treated much better than that.

You also need to stop second guessing yourself. Don't let people tell you how and what you should feel. Doctors are smart, but your body is giving you clues and you need to listen to them. I have a hundred doctors in my family and for one will tell you they are far from infallible and all of them have made mistakes in judgement. Trust yourself, it is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. You are your child's protector and the only one that can stand up for that little life inside you. As your doctor, she needs to be on call whenever you call, that is the service you pay for, and if you are not getting it, then complain to her superiors. If this is private practice, find another one who will suit your needs better. You had every right to get checked out, and honestly, I would not have waited more than a day to check for  a heartbeat. I don't care if you have to go every damn day to make sure your baby is ok, you do what you have to do. A good doctor would understand that and agree with double-checking your baby's stats as often as it takes to make sure he/she is doing well.

Message Friend Invite

momofmn
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:30 AM

WOW!! YEAH I AGREE WITH THE ABOPVE POSTERS. I WOULD DEFINATELY SWITCH DOCTORS....TWO,  I UNDERSTAND YOUR STRESSING OUT, AND YOU NEED A DOCTOR THAT DOES TOO...EVEN IF 'NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT' UGH!!! YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A VERY STRESSFUL TIME,, AND  A GOOD DOCTOR WOULD DO ANYTHING TO RELIEVE YOUR FEARS AND LOWER YOUR STRESS....

IM GLAD BABY IS ALRIGHT....I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU!!!

((HUGS))

Message Friend Invite

purvi...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:02 AM I'm so glad the baby is ok!  I would consider switching doctors as well if you are getting that kind of treatment.  It's just not professional in my opinion!  I think they forget that just because they hear the same question from 100 different pregnant women that they need to treat each one individually and take their time with each patient, not just get irritated.

Message Friend Invite

MYLUV_TJ
Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:30 AM

Wow, I'm truly disgusted by the behavior of these so called medical "professionals", girl get yourself another doctor and fast. And please don't EVER, I MEAN NEVER base your decision to go to the hospital on what they might think. Who gives a shit if they just saw you yesterday! If you feel something aint right, you go in RIGHT AWAY! I was the L&D queen before my son was even born.  I'm pullin for you...

Message Friend Invite

kikib...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:01 AM OMG Girl... I am so happy everything worked out great... As for the Doctor I would havse said something I just dont get the people who are so insensitive to others feelings... Looks like we have close birthdays...

Message Friend Invite

t-boo
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:37 AM


damn girl i would be so upset. but hey atleast shes not gonna be there when you give birth. i would have told her off with my first pregnancy i had a horriable attitude if anyone look at me wrong let alone talk to me like i am a chil i would of went off on me. but you did handle yourself like the woman you are and i am proud that you didnt let her bring that side out of you.

 

Message Friend Invite

stacy654
Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:11 PM Can I just add to your post - I, too, visited the ER on Saturday afternoon/evening.  I prefer not to go back there...  Sending you good positive baby vibes from here on!

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in