So I just wanted to start out by saying I LOVE MY HUSBAND!  He is so good to me.  He left this morning for training and will be gone until the 19th.  Supposedly he will come home Sunday for a little break, but I know how that always turns out.  I don't mind him training and really don't usually mind the military since I am used to just  being mad at it.  LOL  I just don't like being alone.  I get so scared at night.  My son can't sleep in my bed with me cuz he will only sleep in HIS bed.  I always have visions of someone coming in the house and attacking me, and not robbing me, I just see them attacking me or shooting me.  Now we have guns and I know how to use it, but then here comes the vision of them getting the gun from me and using my own weapon against me.  What if someone notices he hasn't been home in a few days?  I know women are home alone all the time and I constantly tell myself that.  At night I will stay on the internet til really late and watch tv til I can't anymore, but as soon as I turn it all off and try to go to sleep the thoughts come and they just don't stop.  I have to pray myself to sleep and usually that works.  I just start talking to God and then i wake up in the morning!  When Alan used to do CQ or funeral detail I was able to call him in the middle of the night if i got scared but when they are in the field there is no contact.  The only person I really hang out with is going to visit family while they are gone, so I can't just say, "Hey come over and hang out," or "let's go to the mall."  I know just keep myself busy and don't think about the bad things, but when you're already sad that your best friend in whole world is gone and can't be contacted you already start thinking of the bad.  Alan came home from PT this morning and made me breakfast and coffee to start the week out good!  I love that!  Plus we don't have a stove cuz his friend melted half of it cooking, so he had to be creative.  He made me an omlet in the microwave and is was good!!!  Well I guess this is just to make me feel a little less scared.  I have to talk to someone other than babies about it.  We'll see how I sleep tonight!  Thanks for reading....

Add A Comment

Comments:

tabbys4
Jun. 2, 2008 at 8:57 AM good luck hun my dh sometimes leaves for a week for a school work thing and hes states away i cry when he leaves then i go on with the kids but at night i cant sleep cuze hes not there and the thought of what if.... i just make sure my place is locked like a fortress and sticks in windows if i want double secerity. but i still dont sleep well last time he left i slept for a few hours only to wake up in pain something was wrong with my finger swollen and pain realizing something bit me in bed most likely a spider worst fear so much pain i had to wake 7 year old up and go to hospital at 4 am. i finally start sleeping the night before hes due home. so i feel u with the fear i just double check everything. i hope u sleep well tonight xoxo

Message Friend Invite

Aggie...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 9:21 AM OK - Turn of the Cold Case Files! :o) I get the same way when my DH is gone as well. I don't know why. It's not like I didn't live alone for years before I met him! Usually the first night he's gone I fall asleep with Lifetime or Sprout or something on where I'm certain I'm not going to wake up to ominous music or anything.... Then by night 2 I am so exhausted that I just pass out.... once I get over the hump I feel okay about it.  Good luck... sorry you are alone, but be assured that it is FAR less likely someone will notice you're alone and still think you are a good house to break into than nothing happening. Of that small chance your house would be chosen, MOST people don't want to run into anyone. Lost sleep will only make the time away THAT much longer!

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in