Some days the frustration over how little Chet gets paid really gets to me.  Today would be one of those days...I would give anything for Christian to be able to attend Christian school this coming year.  It is so very important to me that God be part of his every day life.  Not just when he is with us.  The thought of  him to a public school makes my stomach turn.  It really makes me physically ill.  I have very strong beliefs and am not comfortable with having him in public schools.  Not at this point.  Not that there aren't some great public schools, but it's just that with the type of kid Christian is, and my beliefs, and his personality, all together I just can't stand the thought of it. 

Now, back home tuition would be 9000-10,000 a year.  Here it's like 3500 a year.  Yet we still can't afford it right now.  We do not live above our means.  My husband works so hard, and so many hours.  We don't have super fancy or super expensive cars.  We have a regular sized house, and nothing worth too much value inside.  Once we pay our bills, and buy our groceries and christian's groceries we have about enough to go out to eat once a pay day. 

I just don't get why he can't make more.  The military as a whole is so under paid and the I guess I'm just in the midst of frustration at the moment.  Christian's food costs just as much as the rest of the food I buy for the other 3 people in our family. lol...that is annoying. 

So I guess I'm just on a rant and kinda pissy because I'm trying to figure out what I could do to make 350 a month extra.  I don't know, I'm annoyed that Chet would have been graduating really soon, but instead they switched him to a delta.  That threw off  our plans.  There went extra money to pay for school.  In the end it will be better, I know that.  Right now I'm just a little irked. 

I know that if I trust in God to provide the funds and that is where he wants Christian he will make the money appear.  We have been in much worse situations with no hope before and God has made a way for us.  I really need to rely on him more and trust that after all he made Christian and so he loves him more than I do.  All the things he wants for him are so much more than I could ever imagine. 

I really need to step back and look at how blessed I really am.  My kids are amazing, my husband is beyond words, and I live in a beautiful home-it's not the most luxurious, but I love it!  IT's our first home, and my husband worked his ass off to get it for us.  My husband comes from nothing. His parents didn't help him a bit.  He joined the army right after his 17th b-day.  Now, having a son of my own, I am even more nauseated at that thought.  He has given us the world!  We have an amazing church.  We have great friends, and that's priceless.  Nothing is worth more in life than friends and family.  We have great doctors.  In our lives great doctors have kept my children alive when it seemed hopeless.  God has blessed us. 

I'm trying to focus on all he has given us, and not the one thing I am bothered by not having.  I know God has brought my son through so much, if it is meant to be he will start school where we want him to .  Some way, some how he will.  If not there is always next year. 

My goal for this week is to focus on the blessings and let the Lord deal with the rest...

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