Mindless Meanderings

of a maniac

JJ lost his job. 

My business is going under = I won't get paid this week.  Or next.

Rent was due yesturday.

I have a negative balance in my checking account.

I've already cleaned out BOTH savings accounts from the last time this happened.

I'm going to have to BEG the attorney to give me back my money... so I can hopefully last out the month.  So we won't get to go bankrupt like we've been planning for three years.

And my grandmother picks THIS week of ALL weeks to DIE.   Funeral's tomorrow.  I won't be here for awhile.

What's REALLY upsetting to me is at the onset of all this, I look around me and think 'here we go again'.

I'm so USED to this.  It's getting old.  I'm SICK of barely scrapping by.  I'm SICK of praying for a financial miracle to take me through the next month.  I'm SICK of bouncing checks and getting threatened by the electric company.  I'm sick of people calling me for money.  I'm SICK of having my phone shut off.  I'm SICK TO DEATH OF BEING POOR.

Money doesn't buy happiness?  Well, not having any sure buys a LOT of misery. 

Chucking everything and running away sure sounds like a plan to me.

See ya around.

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Comments:

bugsa...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:34 PM

I am sorry for your hardships -  My motto is "if you are brought to it, you will be brought through it."

It does seem like a vicious cycle we all can get into at some point or another - I always try to have positive energy during these times of roughness.  I know that sounds like a "peter pan advice" but hang in, don't throw in the towel.  You will be okay!

Stay strong,

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mom2a...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:36 PM I feel your pain, sweetie, I really do.  Don't give up, though!  When it is this bad, it can only get better. 

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Prair...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:43 PM

Yet you keep dancing the same dance.  I am NOT bashing you.  There are no words of comfort I can offer.  You say this is not new, so you know the drill and how to get what you can from where ever you can.  BUT...  If you are really sick & tired, why do you keep doing the same dance? 

Do SOMETHING different.  Can you go back to school - or just start planning to go?  Do you have any 401K's (company sponsored plans have to give it to you when you quit if you ask)  Sometimes just creating a plan helps you feel more in control.  Then start working toward it. 

The is CafeMom so you must have children.  With children's medicare, wic, angel food, unemployment benefits and a grant to pay tuition, maybe you could go to school.  Can you get rehab to pay for it?  Are you divorced?  There is a program for Displaced Homemakers that will PAY for you to go to school, give you dental care, provide child care.  They will pay tuition, fees and buy books.

Good luck and may you find a way out of the situation you are in.  My heart goes out to you and all who find themselves in similar circumstances.

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2soon
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:55 PM

OMG. I was reading your post and was surprised at how much u sound like me.

I just shut off my cable over the weekend because right now I (single parent) just can't afford it right now. I'm trying to cut back on things here and there to catch up on some bills myself. I felt bad for my kids when they watched me unplug the cable box.

I would tell u that when life gives u lemons u should make lemonade. But I'm tiered of lemonade myself and I ran out of sugar a long time ago. So I  guess the best thing to say is...Life's a bitch and then u die.

By the way sorry about your grandmother.

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Krist...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:57 PM (((HUGS))) Hang in there. I'm sure you'll figure out something.

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kimbe...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:59 PM

PrairieGirl3576 Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:43 AM (Delete)

Yet you keep dancing the same dance.  I am NOT bashing you.  There are no words of comfort I can offer.  You say this is not new, so you know the drill and how to get what you can from where ever you can.  BUT...  If you are really sick & tired, why do you keep doing the same dance? 

Please excuse me for being irritated by this.

I've made DOZENS of plans.  I went back to school.  My recent plan was bankruptcy and saving to begin a simpler, less expensive life.  Sounds do-able right?  Even responsible?  When I said "I'm used to this"  what I meant was- I'm USED TO MY PLANS FALLING THROUGH.  You honestly think i'm not TRYING to better the situation?  You honestly think I'm not putting in my best effort?  You honestly think I haven't come up with ANYTHING???  Trust me, that's not the case.

And FYI, I don't believe in WELFARE.  Not for anyone.  Not for myself.  Not even now.  

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kimbe...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:02 PM

Thank you everyone.

I know we'll get by.  We always do.  I just needed to bitch awhile, ya know?  On the bright side, my hubby's job sucked anyway- nows his chance to do better.  And I was miserable where I'm at too. 

Gotta try to look for the opportunity hidden underneath the pile of shit, right?

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gusti...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:19 PM i am so sorry about your loss! we are all going through it right now what with gas, and food costing a fortune

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bugsa...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:22 PM

kimberleee382 Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:02 PM

Gotta try to look for the opportunity hidden underneath the pile of shit, right?

 THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

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tinadf7
Jun. 2, 2008 at 2:54 PM Oh sweetie - I'm so sorry. What a terrible week. I'm thinking of you and J and sending the money vibes your way..................... (((hugs)))

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