Hi eveyone,

I need advice...my 3 1/2 throws tantrums for everything and I have tried timouts and she just gets right back up kicks and hits and I try putting her in the room and she kicks the door and I have tried spanking even though I hate to and she just hits and kicks more and this morning she woke up her daddy throwing a tantrum...and also likes to hit her little sis when shes mad...help...help...I so need to get out of this apartment....need to go somewhere...driving me nuts...thanks Karen

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 12:40 PM My son is going through a throwing and hitting (and sometimes biting) stage.  It is driving me nuts, too!  If he won't sit for a time out (which he usually won't) we hold him.  I wrap my arms around him like a car seat belt and make him sit with me until he calms down.  I talk to him and tell him we don't hit, we don't throw or we don't bite (depending on what he did) do you understand?  I just keep repeating it until he calms down and says he understands.  I works for awhie, but yolu know toddlers don't have a very long term memory.  Anyway, it is a painless punishment that *seems* to work.  Good luck!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:27 PM I have a toddler chair we do time-outs in... spanking does NOT help Heather, either! It took a long time to get used to how a time-out works... she still doesn't always get it. BUT, when we're out, in the car, anywhere, we can do time-outs. In the grocery store, I'll take her sister out of the cart and strap her in for 2 mins (after she's quiet). If she starts up again before her time is up, we start over when she's good again. I explain it to her as we're doing it, also. No juice in time-out, no toys, of course... nothing! In the car, I will take everything away and tell her she is in time-out for 2 mins. It really works, you just have to be VERY consistent!! It sounds like the above poster does something very similar, just holding instead. Good luck, Karen!!

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 10:15 PM Hi Karen. You are so not alone with this. I had the same problem with my son when he was that age. For him to take his time out. I sat on the floor and wrapped my legs around him until he calmed down. Super nanny has great tips. I have actually used some tips from her show. Have you ever watched it. If your daughter gets out of time out. Keep putting her back. Remember you are the mom. You are running the show. Not her. She needs to know you are in charge not her. Spankings never worked on Dylan either. I tried every thing also. I know what you are going through. My son still doesn't listen to me and he is 10. He got grounded from the computer tonight for not listening. I wish I could say it gets better. But for me it did not. I have more gray hair then ever. LOL Stay consistent and firm. you are the mom. Take care Karen

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Jun. 4, 2008 at 4:05 PM

It sounds like everyone has pretty good advice as far as the time outs go. I was actually focusing on your comment about needing to get out. Keeping your sanity is the key. It's really important that you get some time away from your children. As much as we all love being Moms, it's very important that we all have time to still be women too. That way the time we spend with our children can be as enjoyable as possible instead of feeling like a burden or a trap. It keeps us Moms happier and, therefore, keeps our kids happier. If you are stressed, frustrated and angry your daughter is going to pick up on that and become stressed, frustrated and angry too. They really feed on our moods. I know when I'm irritable and grouchy, that always seems to be the time when my dauther tends to act up and disobey. My husband and I take turns going out. He'll get a "guys night" one weekend and the next weekend I get a "girls night". You have to keep your outside realtionships alive and well. It takes work, but it's really worth it and you deserve it!!!! Let me know if you need to talk or just vent. Seems like you could use someone to talk to :) 

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