Hablando de todo un poco

Little bit of this, little bit of that!

I'm a member of a few groups here on Cafe Mom.  For the most part, the name of these groups pretty much tells me what I'm getting in to.  Some groups have no specific 'agenda' so anything goes.  These groups are made up of different women with different parenting styles all trying to be 'the best mom they can be'.  With me so far?

OK, now, back to the specific groups.  You have your breastfeeding groups, your formula groups, circ groups, non-circ groups on and on and on.  I recently joined a breastfeeding group for mommies not ashamed to 'whip it out in public', as so many like to refer to public breastfeeding.  Well, the name would make it pretty obvious that we're not afraid to nurse where ever and when ever our child gets hungry.  Right? I think that one of the points of the group is to encourage women to break to taboo of breastfeeding being gross, etc.  Remind everyone that breastfeeding is natural. 

Well, wouldn't you know how many members there get offended at some of the things being said!  The worst thing is that they make these very negative, angry posts reflecting their feelings!  Um. Can you imagine me joining a group of formula feeding mommies and bashing their choice?  How idiotic would that be?

We join groups that share our beliefs, parenting styles, choices, etc.  If we join a group and find that it's a little too radical or extreme, wouldn't the 'right' thing to do be to just leave?  I know I've done it.  I've joined groups that I thought were going to be fun and educational only to learn that most members were mean, negative and just plain bitter.  Not only that, but the majority of them also had parenting styles completely opposite to mine.  That, in no way, is a bad thing.  However, if it's something I feel VERY strongly about, like CIO, I really don't want to be a part of it.  I can't say I was never involved in any controversy because I have been.  However, I like to state my opinion and stat the facts and call it a day.  You can't win 'em all!!

I guess my point is if you join a group catering to a specific practice or belief: don't bash it later on!  The people in this group strongly believe in this (be it bf, ff, cir)  Your little negative opinion is probably not going to count and will get you blocked.

Just be nice and leave.

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Comments:

Monch...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:05 PM Love this post and is exactly how I feel too. Voted popular!

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J-M
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:13 PM Yup. 

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Krist...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:16 PM

I can only assume that those who join groups to bash it's member's are a rare breed of masochist.

Great Post! 

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sexyn...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:21 PM Someone is vying for the dove award, huh?

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ivans...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:25 PM Who?? Me??  Nope!  I've had it up to HERE with stupid people.  I think I'm going more for the tampon award.  But I'm not that mean...how about a dove wearing a tampon?  No?

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_Tam_
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:28 PM

Almost sounds like they're trolls trying to stir up trouble.

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jenbabs
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:45 PM I find it really sad when people join a group just to be mean and hurtful to people. If you don't agree with it or feel differently either say what you are trying to say in a respectful manner or keep your comments to yourself. Also, if you're against what the group stands for then just don't join the group. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but you can express them without being disrespectful of others.

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Faery...
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:52 PM I don't get the idea of joining a group that you aren't interested in, outside of maybe learning something knew.  If I see a group that I'm not interested in, nor have any desire to learn something new, I move on. 

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ThaMCE
Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:57 PM

I KNOW!!! I belong to an AA mommies group, and she said this:

I didn't even try to breastfeed. At the time, I didn't want it to ruin my breasts. Also, to me there is something disturbing about letting a child do that to you, but I guess everyone doesn't feel like I do. No offense to you women who do breastfeed, I just think it's kinda gross.

This was my response (and I formula feed, mind you - is there such a thing as an FFing lactivist?! lol)

1. Breastfeeding doesn't ruin your breasts. That's a big myth. If you've ever been pregnant before, your body just changes. End of story. Breastfeeding has no bearing on "ruining" your breasts...If you have any empirical data or a link that says otherwise, I'd like to see it.

2. I'm sorry, but the highlighted part REALLY bothered me. I'm a FFing mom and I still feel guilty that I couldn't BF the way I wanted to. If you have ever studied nature, babies are SUPPOSED to breastfeed! Your breasts are not supposed to be "fun bags," for people to just fondle with, they are naturally for feeding children. Or else milk wouldn't come out of your nipples in the first place. I understand you don't feel the same way, and I know some people similar have underlying issues regarding it, but...wow...

My mom didn't support breastfeeding possibly because of her past history of sexual abuse. Hell, I've been through it too, but I've looked past it and know that I have to feed my child with them as nature intended. I'm not going to change your mind, and I'm going to agree to disagree with you, but I was utterly offended...

So yeah, I KNOW how you feel! And I never liked the term "whip it out," it's not like BFing moms are flashing anyone! I ALMOST left that group because of their sheer ignorance about the subject. I haven't yet, I don't even know what's stopping me...

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Karri_B
Jun. 2, 2008 at 5:16 PM

Right on!  TOtally bugs me.  Part of me wonders if they "really" read the front page and title before joining . . . .

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