So I'm a lousy housekeeper. In recent years, along with my depression, it has gotten worse. I admit it. My house is a mess, and I hate it. But I can't seem to pull myself out enough to do a clean sweep.

The unfortunate thing is that it has become the measure in which my husband shows me whether or not he loves me. If the house is messy, he behaves  like I'm the worst person in the world, and how can he be married to me. Along with that he doesn't bother to hug, kiss me and any efforts on my part to do so are met with groans and noises of discontent on his part. So I go without physical love from my husband for long periods of time. I feel like I'm in a loveless marriage...but I will stay in it, because I love him and I stick to my vows.

How did I fall in love with someone who would turn it off and on like a switch? It is the most hurtful thing I've ever be denied love from my husband because I can't keep my house clean.

He says he loves me, but I really don't think he does, because if he did, he wouldn't hurt me so much.


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Jun. 2, 2008 at 1:15 PM

I know for me...I can't stand it when I'm in a messy or dirty surounding.  It literally drives me crazy.  Try asking a friend to help do a "clean sweep" and have a garage sale to get rid of all the clutter.  If your depression gets in the way take lots of breaks with a timer and calm yourself down.  Breathe and tell your mind to stop all the crazy thoughts.  It works!   Cindy

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