n Feb my brother in-law -was murdered (link for full info) http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/108822

It has been so hard on my family and I miss him so much. It has been harder still on my sister-in-law. Every Sunday we have family dinner out my In-laws place. Last night Jenn was not there and my Mother-in-law told me that she won't be coming out for a while and doesn't know when she'll join us again. Jenn said it's just too hard for her to be out there with everybody  who is coupled up and married and she's alone now. I totally get how she is feeling and understand but it still breaks my heart, this whole situation does. I feel like she needs her family and she shouldn't hide from us but she also shouldn't do something if it hurts right now. I just can't imagine what she's going through and I don't know what to do. I wish I could do something for her but I don't know what. I wish that I called her more but I don't know what to say, I don't want to start crying and bring her down more. I know it's better to call and have nothing to say than not call at but it's just so hard sometimes. I wish that just for sometime I could take all the pain that she is feeling and put it on me even for a second so she wouldn't have too feel it. I still can't understand how or why this happned. I love my sister-in-law and I want her to be happy again, I want to help her I just don't know how or if I can.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 2:36 PM It takes a lot of time and a lot of patience.  Be sure to keep calling, or send her a card once in a while.  Keep the invitations coming.  When she can, she'll accept.  When she can't, she won't.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 2:50 PM I can't even imagine the hurt that your family is feeling right now. My prayers will be with you and yours. But don't stop calling her. I agree 100% with aliceinalgonac. You could even send occassional e-cards. But never stop inviting her to eat dinner. I think that it will make a huge difference just knowing that her family is still there and is thinking about her.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 7:32 PM Everyone deals with grief in their own way. It sounds like this might be her way of dealing with it right now. But I do agree that she should not isolate herself from her family because they are all "coupled up" and married...And she has lost her spouse. She should not isolate her daughter from family either. I really feel for her...And for your whole family. Is she in any kind of grief counseling? It might help her.

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Jun. 2, 2008 at 11:45 PM She just started grief counseling last week so maybe that will help and change her mind, guess we'll see.

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